At around 1:30 a.m. last Friday in Coldspring, Patrick Morley called the San Jacinto County police to inform them that a) he was covered in blood, b) he had been smoking bath salts with his girlfriend and c) several unknown men had attacked him while he was involved in the above activities. He was also screaming, because, let's be serious, who wouldn't be screaming in such circumstances?
The 29-year-old, according to the San Jacinto County Sherif's Department, was stirred into a wild panic by the phantom intruders, and proceeded to shoot the floor several times before jumping from his bedroom window. Morley then ran to a nearby house and, evidently deciding the door was too much of a hassle, threw a chair through a glass window on the first floor.
Morley told the homeowner he'd been shot and people were trying to kill him. Police, gumshoes that they are, didn't find any unknown assailants -- but instead a lot of drugs -- and concluded the erratic behavior was due to Morley being all sorts of messed up on bath salts.
Morley, who had two children at home, was charged with two counts of child endangerment and one count of felony criminal mischief.
But there's good news: No faces were eaten! Several weeks ago, Miami police shot and killed Rudy Eugene, 31, after he chewed off the face of another man. At first, everyone assumed bath salts were the reason -- because, as Morley's antics prove, bath salts can make one do all sorts of kooky things. But actually, autopsy results only found traces of marijuana in Eugene.
Still, the links between bath salts and eating man-flesh are striking. Last month, a man who allegedly had smoked a joint laced with bath salts reportedly stripped down to his underwear at an Atlanta golf course and ran around, waving a golf club, threatening to eat people. "I'll eat you," he allegedly said. "I don't want to eat you, but I will."
Last week, ten people were arrested in the Houston area and charged with possession of a controlled substance -- bath salts. No faces or other body parts were consumed.