Mark Sanford Needs to Shut Up and Get the Hell Away from the Alamo
Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford stands as one of the largest piles of schadenfreude most political observers have recently seen. Traipsing the Appalachian Trail, chasing some Argentinian tail along the way, accused of trespassing by his ex-wife -- it was one of the most enjoyable political rides we'd seen in some time. And it was completely deserved.
Anyway, for those who haven't heard, Sanford's attempting to make a comeback, this time as a Congressman in the Palmetto State. (You may have heard a few things about Stephen Colbert's sister making a run at Congress. This is her opponent.) And in case there isn't enough fodder for the Democratic camp -- in case this attack ad wasn't the most devastating you've seen in years -- Sanford decided to pen a full-page letter detailing, among other things, why his plight is parallel to that of those who fought in the Alamo -- nearly 30 years after Texas won its revolution.
After detailing why the former officeholder had just, oh, man, like the hardest week of anyone in the country -- two points for timing, governor! -- Sanford sums up why his stand against the Democratic Tyrants is akin to the battle set before South Carolinian William Travis as the Mexican army trundled toward the Alamo:
I will leave you with one last thought. In March of 1863, there was similarly little time. A South Carolinian by the name of William Travis drew a line in the sand with his sword and simply asked those who would stay and fight, to cross it. His efforts, and that of those who died with him there at the Alamo, ultimately inspired Texans to come to the aid of their brethren and defeat Santa Anna's army though they were outnumbered at the onset by six to one. I'm outnumbered right now, but will fight to the end toward freedom and financial sanity in Washington to sustaining it. I'd ask you to cross the line and fight with me.
First, and speaking at the presumptive behest of Texans everywhere, go to hell, Mr. Sanford. South Carolina has any one of a litany of revolutionary themes and motifs you can draw on. (Hey, look! Fort Sumter! Hey there!) The Alamo belongs to Texas, and to America. It does not belong to South Carolina's First Congressional District. Don't taint our grounds with your presence.
Rice Owls Mens Basketball vs. Charlotte Mens Basketball
TicketsSat., Jan. 28, 7:00pm
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 10AM-3PM
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 10:00am
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 3PM-8PM
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 3:00pm
Super Bowl Opening Night Fueled By Gatorade
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 7:00pm
Moreover, if you're going to co-opt our history, Sanford, the least you could do would be to get the friggin' date correct. Because while you were busy traipsing Buenos Aires instead of reading up on your Texian Army history, you apparently missed the note that the pitch surrounding the Alamo took place in 1836, not 1863. You built your entire pitiful, woe-is-me screed around the imagery of the Alamo -- and then dropped our most noted battle in the middle of the Civil War. If the voters of South Carolina don't keep you out for your thoroughly detailed record of deceit, at least they could, on behalf of Texans everywhere, keep you out for daring to screw with our Alamo.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Houston, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.