Michael Don Mitchell, Terrifying-Looking Drifter and Chronic Burglar, Foiled by Love of Chef Boyardee

Michael Don Mitchell: The idea of this guy in my kitchen is more than a little discomfiting.
Michael Don Mitchell: The idea of this guy in my kitchen is more than a little discomfiting.
Gregg County Jail

A freaky-looking Longview man faces a burglary charge after police found him with a reusable shopping bag, a fleece hoodie and about $87 he had allegedly taken from a nearby home on Monday.

The homeowner told police that the person who had broken into her house had paused long enough to steal and wolf down a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli in her kitchen. According to his arrest affidavit, when police found Mitchell, he had "red spaghetti sauce around his lips and mouth" that was "consistent with the sauce used in Chef Boyardee raviolis."

For some reason we are having fun imagining Hercule Poirot dayleever zose lahns to a parlor full of East Texas ne'er-do-wells, one of whom bears a tell-tale red moustache and goatee.

The drifter with the monkish 'do, whose 38th birthday came yesterday, has faced similar charges in Houston County, Minnesota, Tennessee, Florida and Oklahoma, and also apparently managed to elude an Oklahoma felony assault and battery warrant for 19 years. Back in 1992, he was also apparently arrested in connection with a ring of horse thieves in Cherokee County.

In the Minnesota case back in 2010, he was found competent to stand trial after a psychiatric evaluation. Though he was caught in the victim's bedroom with $120 of stolen money in his pocket, Mitchell denied that what he did amounted to burglary.

"I didn't break in no house," he told a judge at the time. "I just walked in. The most that was was trespass. I didn't take no money. I have my own money." The same article states that Mitchell had three known aliases, birth dates and social security cards.

The judge in that case disagreed with Mitchell's quirky interpretation of the law and sentenced him to 23 months in a St. Cloud, Minnesota pen.

Mitchell is currently being held in Gregg County Jail on a $10,000 bond.

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