Mugshot Shirt Don't Lie: John Cortez Is Lonely at the Top, Or at Least That Top That Allegedly Involves Being Drunk & High at 2 P.M.
In mugshots lies truth. Just like in vino veritas, we're tellin' ya.
Valley resident John Cortez is the latest example of the mugshot theorem.
When it came time to pose for his close-up, he was wearing -- and was it sheer happenstance or something deeper? -- a T-shirt that aptly summed up his condition.
"It's lonely at the top," the shirt said.
If anyone should know, it's John Cortez.
Some may think being "at the top" involves lunches soaked in single-malt scotches and seared steak.
But at the real top, lunch apparently involves drugs and booze.
Some tops are different from others, we guess.
Cortez was picked up recently by Harlingen police at two on a weekday afternoon. (The weekday in question didn't begin with the letters F, R and I, in case you were wondering.)
A cop says he saw Cortez driving recklessly by suddenly accelerating. And then: "As the Officer made contact with the male driver, he detected a strong odor of marijuana emitting from within the vehicle," Harlingen police sergeant John Lee Parrish said.
Okay, so maybe he borrowed this weed-infested vehicle, right? Ever think of that, Mr. Harlingen 5-0?
Uh....yeah, well, forget that: "During the contact, the driver (identified as JOHN DAVID CORTEZ) had a strong odor of marijuana emitting from his breath / body, slurred speech, red blood-shot eyes, and unsteady balance," the police report said.
Cortez was arrested for DWI, and then came the search: In the car cops found six Alprazolam pills and a small plastic bag with 29 grams of weed.
Gee -- if it is lonely at the top and you're not sharing your stash, that should at least get you through the day.
Cops added possession charges for weed and a controlled substance, and bail was set at $9,500.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- Is it Legal For Border Patrol Agents to Shoot and Kill Unarmed Mexican Kids—So Long as...
Sat., Sep. 5, 12:00pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 2:30pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 6:00pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 7:00pm
- Sam Houston State Student Arrested On 4-Year-Old Charge After Stupid Tweet About...
- No Easy Ride: What Using METRO's New Bus Network is Like in a Low-Income Community