My Widdle Dog Wote Himself An Op-Ed Cowwum!!
We took note this summer when the Waco Tribune was sold to someone with no journalistic experience, whose first move was to add "In God We Trust" to the front page.
Now Clifton Robinson is taking Central Texas journalism to a whole other level. His publisher's column was written this week by his dog. We guess we should say "allegedly," but the thing is so wretched that we're not entirely unconvinced it indeed was written by "Annie Poo Robinson," as the byline says.
In their initial announcement of their purchase, the new owners said they intended "to ferret out more conservative voices in our [op-ed] columns," so if we had believed they would have stooped to the animal world for writers, it would have been a ferret.
Instead we got this:
My name is Annie Poo. Five years ago I arrived at Fuzzy Friends Rescue as a 6-week-old red poodle puppy weighing two pounds. I was as skinny as uncooked angel hair pasta, I barely knew that newspapers were for housebreaking, and I was just eager to become someone's little love.
I was lucky. Someone I know as Miss Bow Wow took me home and introduced me to my prospective daddy. It was love at first sight.
Daily, I sit in queenly fashion up in my daddy's downtown Waco office building, greeting visitors with barks. I enjoy watching them dance about the room as I nip merrily at their shoes or attack their pants legs. That includes the postman, whom I attack as if I were a Doberman.
Lately, though, I've gotten to know the Tribune-Herald, the hometown newspaper that my daddy purchased this summer. It's a bustling place, full of vivid personalities and rich talents, all serving in different ways as -- dare I say it? -- the watchdogs of this community.
That's something a pooch like me can respect and admire.
We're sure it is, Annie Poo.
The stirring conclusion: "This much I know. If I have to wet on a newspaper nowadays, I think twice about doing it on the Trib. Daddy wouldn't be happy."
We can only hope this experiment continues. In terms of op-ed loopiness, it's right up there with the Hearst papers (like the Houston Chronicle) annually printing some old doggerel from William Randolph Hearst. Or running a Michelle Malkin column.
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