Texas A&M University announced on Wednesday that the board of regents had accepted a plan to renovate Kyle Field, home of the Aggies. The venerable stadium has been in need of a makeover for some time now. New stadiums around Division I college sports have the bells and whistles of pro stadiums including massive scoreboards, updated locker room facilities and luxury suites where pampered alumni can relax on bear skin rugs after bathing in the blood of virgins...or maybe they just eat catered barbecue; we can't be sure.
But, if we were all honest with one another, we would admit that this is as much to do with A&M's move to the SEC as anything. The Big 12 was a good conference, but the minute the Ags jumped to the SEC and had to compete with LSU, Alabama and others, good ol' Kyle Field just wasn't going to cut the mustard -- the kind they use on their pulled pork in the southeastern US of A.
And what predicated the move out of the Big 12 and out of a storied rivalry with the University of Texas was the Longhorn Network, UT's private sports channel that has been picked up by ones of cable networks and features 24-7 coverage of all things Longhorn. The content is riveting. Who knew that talk shows about the UT golf program or detailed discussion of women's tennis could be so captivating?
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The truth is, as much as this is a needed renovation, this is also a big fat fuck you to the Aggies Austin rivals. This is the equivalent of an ex-girlfriend, who was cheated on before leaving, first coupling with the old boyfriend's most hated rival (SEC) and topping it off by showing off the brand new diamond ring he bought her (Kyle Field renovations). Sure, the old boyfriend still can find comfort in arms of the girl he slept with (Longhorn Network), but that's probably because no one else wants her knowing she is a home wrecker.
So, while A&M is cavorting all over the deep south in a brand new Mercedes (Johnny Football), UT is left trying to figure out what to do with senile old grandpa (Mack Brown) while living on past glories (Vince Young).
Congrats, Aggies. In about half a decade, you've gone from a burned out roadhouse skank to a hot cheerleader engaged to the star quarterback, while watching your sworn enemy go flailing in the opposite direction at the same time. It's good to be the king.