NFL Butts: Match The Tight, Sweet Texans Ass To Its Owner (And Pick the Best)
We hadn't really noticed, but it has been brought to our attention by some of the more penis-challenged members of the staff that the Houston Texans feature some of the best butts in town.
These butts are highlighted by form-fitting pants with little on underneath except the stray protective cup, which doesn't come into play with a rear view, we're told.
Yes, we know these players are people, and not mere objects for lurid fantasies. But the truth apparently cannot be denied.
How well do you know your Texans' butt? Try to match the fierce cheeks on the left with their true owners on the right. And feel free to nominate which Texan has the Best Butt of all, and we will reward the winner with a certificate sure to be treasured forever.
Put your guesses and your nominee (feel free to elaborate on the reasoning behind your selection) here in the comments or on the Houston Press Facebook page. We'll provide the answers Monday morning, as a warm-up for the Monday Night Football showdown with the Indianapolis Colts, whose butts are nowhere near as shapely.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- Prosecutors: Paxton's Hollow Outrage at "DEFCON 1"
Fri., Nov. 27, 7:00pm
Sat., Nov. 28, 2:30pm
Sat., Nov. 28, 7:00pm
Sun., Nov. 29, 12:00pm
- It's Either Triumph or Disappointment for UH and Rice This Weekend
- The "No Guns" Signs Are Back Up At The Houston Zoo