NFL Postseason -- Celebrating Week 1, Texans-Fan Style
Ain't no party like a Texan-fans party
There apparently was a pretty good first weekend of NFL playoffs this weekend.
From what I heard, the 7-9 Seahawks pulled off a huge upset of the defending champion New Orleans Saints. I guess that the Jets managed to pull off a road win over the Colts when someone in the Colts organization inexplicably took Jim Caldwell out of carbon freeze long enough for him to screw up some game management at the end of the game.
On Sunday, friends told me that the Ravens continued their annual tradition -- winning a road game in the NFL playoffs -- and Michael Vick picked up where he left off before he went to prison by imploding at the worst possible time in the Eagles' loss to the Packers.
I saw none of these games on television, for I am a Texans fan and I was celebrating the first week of the postseason the only way I know how -- hailing potential free agent signees and scouring the Internet for mock drafts.
Festive is the time when we can put the meaningless 16-game inconvenience called the "NFL regular season" behind us, and crack open some cold ones with some of our fellow Texan diehards to celebrate the first big free agents to hit the market. (The regular season has to be meaningless, right? I mean, it clearly doesn't factor into Bob McNair's evaluation of his coaching staff.)
This weekend, we all rolled into the Blue Lot at Reliant Stadium. There were thousands of parking spots to choose from and the atmosphere could best be described as "serene." In other words, it was like any Texans regular season game in December. In short, we were in our element.
We were all rocking our "dare to dream" Nnamdi Asomugha #21 Texan jerseys (which I'm pretty sure will get thrown on the pile next to my #20 Thomas Jones Texans jersey from last year's shindig), and we had a contest to see if anyone at the party could properly pronounce his name. (Sadly, by the time we were done reminiscing about the Texans' 2010 season, we were so obliterated that only half of us could pronounce our own names.)
We had a flat-screen ready to go with all of the Asomugha highlights from 2010, but there was only one problem -- there were none. People don't throw at him, he doesn't really like to tackle. Hence, the following 2010 stat line -- zero interceptions, zero forced fumbles, zero tackles for loss.
This doesn't mean Nnamdi Asomugha isn't a fantastic player. He is. It just means you wouldn't want him on your fantasy team (if you're in one of those sick leagues that do defensive players' statistics). Oh, by the way, you wouldn't want the Raiders' defense either, which despite Asomugha supposedly shutting down half the field did its best Texans impersonation in the other half of the field, allowing 29 touchdown passes this past season.
While most of the day was spent worshiping at the altar of the "next big free agent who will slip through the Texans' grasp," we did manage to squeeze in some of our annual rituals like the Charley Casserly Memorial Mock Draft, the Amobi Okoye pinata and this year's new one, "Pin the Syringe on the Cushing."
It was indeed a glorious afternoon. It almost made me wish that the Texans never actually make the playoffs because this free agency speculation and mock drafting slurping is too much fun! I'd hate to have to delay it any longer than we already do.
Now, I must go. Bob McNair has added a bonus event to this year's postseason -- the "New Defensive Coordinator's Presser" starring Wade Phillips!
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we'll be right back here next year.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from noon-3 p.m. weekdays and follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.