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No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

Yesterday on the Rocks Off blog we unveiled the Lady Gaga sex doll, Lady Gag Gag. Comments were mixed on the doll, ranging from utter confusion and strange attraction from both sexes. One commenter claimed that the model on the box was even more attractive than the real Gaga.

Obviously this got our smut-peddling wheels turning and we wondered aloud what other celebrities deserve their own sex doll. Do you realize we live in a time and age where you can buy a sex doll of the leader of the free world? Nothing is sacred anymore when you can go online and order a mock-up of President Barack Obama to have your way with. If you dig the jockish philandering types, you can also get jiggy with a Tiger Woods doll.

Lady Gaga joins other female celebrities like Paris Hilton (natch), Lindsay Lohan (sna...), and even Houston's own favorite daughter Beyonce Knowles in the prestigious sex-doll club. Sadly, there are no plans for a Susan Boyle or Clay Aiken doll that we could uncover, but that's nothing good old-fashioned American ingenuity can't fix.

Personally, who would we want to have a sex-doll made of? That's easy. We have to go with Sally Field from either her Flying Nun or Gidget days. Maybe even Sybil for when we are feeling especially randy. Screw you for judging us. She did and still has it going on.

We did a poll of our friends and Twitter folks to see who they would like to have immortalized in rubber and latex for their solo exploits. We got some interesting responses, mostly from women. One male friend said Sylvester Stallone from Rocky 4, another asked for a tandem Kid & Play set-up, an ex-girlfriend asked for entire Culkin clan, and one freakazoid begged for a Steve Buscemi. We run with a rough crowd at the halfway house.  

And remember ladies, Justin Beiber is only 16, and that shit is just messed up. You nasty.

No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

John Mayer "Sexual Napalm"
Comes with a guitar, candles, and a pre-written apology from his publicist.

No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

Ryan Gosling "Ryan Fondling"

Ladies, bring home your Noah Calhoun to dance with and stare languidly at.

Christina Hendricks "Moan Holloway"

Back off you bastards, this one is ours.

 

No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

Jake Gyllenhaal "Donnie Dark Hole"

Sadly, this one doesn't come with Maggie. Incestuous sex-dolls FTW.

Johnny Depp "Jack His Sparrow"

With optional "Edward Penishands" attachment...

No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

Jason Statham "Gaytham for Statham"

The only doll built for women, but more than likely bought by closeted bros who have seen The Transporter way too many times.


Taylor Swift "She Belongs To You"

Be Fearless and carefree with this mock-up of the first lady of pop country. Comes with black eyeglasses to turn her into her character from the "You Belong With Me" video.

 

No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

Twilight Kids "Lay With The Lion AND The Lamb"

Complete your shameful obsession with life-size anatomically correct dolls of Bella and Edward. Borderline pedophilic considering that both characters are supposed to be in high school, but you try telling a bored housewife that.

No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

Sarah Palin "Nailin' Palin"

If the thought of having sad pitiful sex with even a rubber version of Say P turns you off, just draw a scar on her face and pretend its Tina Fey. Look at you being all resourceful.

No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

The BP Oil Spill "Devastatingly Handsome"

Everyone likes a bad boy, and you can't get any more rebellious than a massive ecological nightmare that will haunt the world for hundreds of years to come. Officially sanctioned by BP, the proceeds from the sale of this doll will go to fund executive retreats in Switzerland and Dubai.




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