"We've got Parker fever tonight in this room!" Gilbert Garcia, the man on stage for Parker HQ, just announced.
The only prescription, it seems, is more ... not cowbell, but long-winded thank you's to all the wonderful people who helped make this wonderful event happen, all the way down to Mr. Peter Brown.
"Peter! Peter! Peter!" the crowd is chanting.
The stage is packed with these and other helping hands and supporters, and the room in general is full. Now comes the Parker video montage. Some highlights:
Random people slapping Parker stickers onto their shirts.
Parker slapping cops on the back. ... "Public safety comes first."
Parker on the tee-vee news.
Parker endorsed in the Chronicle.
"I love this city," Parker says on the video.
And then here she is (to the tune of "Put Me in Coach, I'm Ready to Play"!!).
"Here's the announcement you've been waiting for," Parker says. "I am proud, very proud to be elected the first .... The very first graduate of Rice University to (drowned out by cheers)!!!"
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Nice. But here comes what you were expecting:
"Tonight the voters of Houston have opened history. I embrace that. I know what this means to many of us who never thought that we could achieve higher office.
"I know what it means, I understand, because I feel it too."
And the rest of the speech is carrying on as you might expect a victory speech, as is evidenced by Parker's statement that the future of Houston has already arrived.