Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water....a piranha has been found in Lake Woodlands.
The good news: It's only "a cousin" to the piranha. The better news: This is "a vegetarian" type of piranha.
Still, sophisticated scientific research has proven just what can happen:
Ultimate Woodlands reports that fishermen on the lake reported catching a pacu.
And then, just like the mayor in Jaws, they sought to downplay any concerns, quoting a so-called "expert" who we are supposed to believe is named Brannon Meinkowsky.
"Pacu is in the piranha family, but it's more of a vegetarian eater," Meinkowsky says. "Probably what happened is that it was in somebody's aquarium, and the fish got too big, and rather than kill it they thought it would be a good idea to let the fish go in the lake."
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Even as he desperately sought to make the problem disappear in the eyes of tourists, "Meinkowsky" couldn't prevent himself from letting slip an even more startling fact: Pacus had also been seen in Lake Conroe.
So it seems there are three possible conclusions:
a) No one should enter Montgomery County lakes without expecting to deal with countless large schools of piranha; b) Someone has a vendetta against all vegetables that might be in the lakes and is releasing killer machines to wipe them out; c) There's nothing to worry about.