Poor Substitute: MacGregor Middle School Teacher Does More Than Pass Out Worksheets
I suppose if I were a parent, I would also be enraged by the unorthodox teachings of the fifth-grade substitute at MacGregor Middle School who had her kids call her Sister Jessica. But as it is, she just seems like fun. I can imagine us at happy hour together. Her chatter would be way more fascinating than the usual my-boss-sucks, these-are-my-weekend-plans, Barack-or-Hillary conversation.
This little story presents gem after gem from Sister Jessica. Among them:
• Don’t call her Miss, cuz that means mistress. While you’re at it, don’t call her Mister, either – that’s a slave owner.
• Sugar is cocaine.
Rice Owls Mens Basketball vs. Charlotte Mens Basketball
TicketsSat., Jan. 28, 7:00pm
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 10AM-3PM
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 10:00am
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 3PM-8PM
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 3:00pm
Super Bowl Opening Night Fueled By Gatorade
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 7:00pm
• McDonald’s is Crack Donald’s.
• Burger King is Murder King.
• Hair permanent and makeup cause cancer.
• There’s rat poison in toothpaste.
• And, of course, God doesn’t exist.
What I want to know is, why’d the kids nark on this woman? Best. Substitute. Teacher. Ever! (Sister Jess, give me a call. Beer’s on me!) – Cathy Matusow
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Houston, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.