Pop Rocks: Theme Songs for Your 2011 Houston Texans
Much hay is being made of the Houston Texans' 3-0 start in the preseason this year. Because games in which the practice squad is on the field for an entire half now count for something, apparently.
Still, there are hopeful signs. The improved secondary should no longer be the worst in the league (I'm betting on a ranking in the low 20s), previously unheralded players like Ben Tate have stepped up, and Peyton Manning
will likely sit out may be on the bench when Houston plays Indy in week one. Hey, you take what you can get.
Am I cautiously optimistic? I am, with emphasis on the "cautiously." The Texans' tenth season is fraught with uncertainty, after all, which is why my suggestions for 2011 Houston Texans Theme Songs are rife with songs of unease and anxiety, as well as those of a more hopeful bent. Are you ready for some potentially tolerable football? Let's go!
Led Zeppelin, "10 Years Gone" It's hard for football fans to stave off the melancholy that comes from a decade of David Carr and Gary Kubiak. This cut from Physical Graffiti might not get them dancing in their seats at Reliant, but at least it's honest.
The Staple Singers, "I'll Take You There" On the other hand, maybe this is the year Kubiak -- along with Arian Foster, Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson -- gets the Texans to the Promised Land of the playoffs.
Green Day, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" Will Kirby once again be a thoroughfare down which thousands of dejected fans trudge following another nailbiting loss...?
Rainbow, "Street of Dreams" ...or will it, for the first time, be a superhighway of celebration, ringing with the exultant cheers of fans headed for the post-season?
In other news, who doesn't love Joe Lynn Turner era Rainbow? And while I haven't watched MTV since Nina Blackwood refused to respond to my letters, that Green Day video might be the Most Laughably Angst-Ridden Video Of All Time.
Billie Holiday, "Gloomy Sunday" Imagine how ticketholders would react to yet another lackluster season. Would they sit languidly in the stands, like addicts on the nod...?
U2, "Sunday Bloody Sunday" ...or would they take to the streets like their brethren on the West Coast (and in Detroit), setting fire to parked cars and otherwise wreaking havoc? Houston fans aren't especially known for their violent tendencies, but you never know.
The Who, "You Better You Bet" Perhaps a 'tough love' approach is in order. Like it or not, Texans supporters have a lot of emotional investment in their team. In other words, when the team tells us they love us, we say, 'you better.' And you better win more than eight games this year.
Bobby "Blue" Bland, "Who Will the Next Fool Be?" A song playing in many a bitter season ticketholder's head as they tear up their PSL agreement.
Jack Ingram, "Rank Bull" The Texans' mascot, Toro, will have a definite stink of failure if the team goes ten years without a playoff appearance...
Monty Python, "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" But in the end, all we can do is keep a positive outlook. Go Texans, or something.