By now everybody's heard of the Keep Austin Weird campaign, and most of us are probably also aware of the copycat campaigns in other Texas cities, like Keep Dallas Pretentious and Keep Houston Crunk, or Trill, or Ugly, or whatever. (We can't seem to agree on what it is we need to keep around here.)
As for the Alamo City, the rallying cry has long been to Keep San Antonio Lame . And maybe it's that very lameness that drives some natives of that funkily beautiful South Texas city to do some of the freakin' weird things they do, like the people in this story :
A man was shot, apparently accidentally, while he and a companion were playing a board game late Wednesday, police said.
The unidentified man was playing Monopoly at a home in the 400 block of Mary Street on the South Side with a female, investigators said. The pair also were playing with a handgun they apparently forgot was loaded, according to police.
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The bullet ripped through the man's upper left thigh, narrowly missing an artery, police said. (Not even to mention the little matter of almost blowing his package clean off.) He is expected to survive and no charges are to be filed.
And now we must simply say, WTF? What in the name of General Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna was really going on there? Was this a distraction to get out of paying that $2,000 fee for that hotel on Boardwalk? A Free Parking heist gone awry? Did this guy feel like he needed a loaded piece to guarantee safe passage through the mean streets of Baltic and Mediterranean Ave.?
Seriously. These people were simultaneously playing Monopoly and fooling around with a loaded gun.
We just don't know what to say. It must be a San Antonio thing. If necessity is the mother of invention, then lameness must the mama of dementia.