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Racy Cowgirl Postcards: An NSFW Tour Of An Odd Subculture

Racy Cowgirl Postcards: An NSFW Tour Of An Odd Subculture

As the Dixie Chicks sang in "Little ol' Cowgirl":

She's a little ol' cowgirl from out Texas way / Countin' the nights 'til the fiddler plays / Workin' all week just doin' her thing / She likes punchin' doggies but she loves to swing

The cowgirl has been a source of fascination since the cowgirl was invented. Southern Methodist University has a whole collection of cowgirl postcards, but it's a demure, tasteful selection of rose-cheeked prairie purehearts.

The postcards we're interested in are a little more risque. So -- keeping in mind some are NSFW -- here are some classic cowgirl postcards, with analysis.

Most come from the cardcow.com site, a great place to seek old postcards.

5. Barely legal If you came to this item from outside the blog homepage, you'll see this one automatically, so we'll use a safe one to start.

It can get hot on the South 40, so a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do, but we don't think we've ever seen a more embarrassed horse. He probably gave this woman rides when she was a little girl, and now he has to stand and watch her debase herself for some second-rate risque-postcard photographer.

Racy Cowgirl Postcards: An NSFW Tour Of An Odd Subculture

 

4. This is not a practical cowgirl outfit at all Retroraunch.com provides this one, and we must say there is plenty to find wrong here.

The hat? It's not going to protect you from the sun. Why, it looks several sizes too small. The gun is a peashooter with a ridiculously thin barrel, and the second gun, which can be so crucial in extended firefights, is a finger.

Plus, the woman obviously lacks the survival skills necessary to make it in the untamed country. Judging by her facial expression, she has allowed a photographer carrying what is no doubt a bulky camera to sneak up on her while she his trying to get some sun on her backside.

If that photographer was a coyote, she'd be dead by now, because neither of her guns seems to have the Rick Perry coyote-killer laser sight.

Racy Cowgirl Postcards: An NSFW Tour Of An Odd Subculture

 

3. It's cold out on the prairie This cowgirl is a collection of cinematic history -- she displays the gun-safety techniques of the detective in Plan 9 From Outer Space ( here at the 45-second mark), the holster style of Ursula Andress in Dr. No , the hair style from any actress in an "authentic" western made in the 1960s, and the nipples of a cold fembot from Austin Powers .

Racy Cowgirl Postcards: An NSFW Tour Of An Odd Subculture

 

2. Hannibal Lecter, your dinner is ready We suppose if you're going to objectify women, you might as well go all the way. But, ummm, this is weird.

Racy Cowgirl Postcards: An NSFW Tour Of An Odd Subculture

 

1. Open your damn eyes Don't beguilingly bat your eyelashes when you're holding a man at gunpoint, girl!! That's the first thing Bat Masterson teaches!!!

And to be honest, we're not sure about the usefulness of those chaps. Sure, your thighs will be protected while you're riding, but many other tender parts won't.

Racy Cowgirl Postcards: An NSFW Tour Of An Odd Subculture

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