Learn if you'll be blown away by a Cat 4 (click to enlarge).
Learn if you'll be blown away by a Cat 4 (click to enlarge).

Rate Your Risk, Maybe

Highlights from Hair Balls


Rate Your Risk, Maybe


Cough up your Hair Balls to 713-280-2480 or e-mail them to hairballs@houstonpress.com.

By Richard Connelly

The City of Houston and Rice University have produced a risk calculator that tells you your chances of getting flood or wind damage from a direct-hit hurricane.

The Storm Risk Calculator isn't the fastest thing around, but you can enter your address and eventually it will show you your risks for rainfall, wind damage, storm surge and power outage. Within each of those categories, you can increase the strength of the storm to see further results.

We're not sure we buy it all — it told us our house was at low risk for a power outage in a Category 2 storm, and that only 5 percent to 20 percent of the homes in our neighborhood would lose power. Ike kept us in the black for almost two weeks.


Trendy Nightclub Roak Sued

Two assaults cited. By John Nova Lomax

Roak, the former Upper Kirby funeral home turned trendy, South Beach-esque oontz-oontz lounge, was taken to court twice last month. Alleged assaults on the premises figure in both cases.

On May 23, attorney J. Michael Moore asked for and was granted a temporary restraining order and a temporary injunction against the exclusive club in an effort to obtain security footage before it can be erased.

According to the suit and criminal court records, while waiting for the valet to bring his car, Moore's client was allegedly punched in the mouth by a man named Fabian Paul Castaneda. Castaneda has been charged in criminal court with aggravated assault causing serious bodily injury and is currently free on $30,000 bond.

According to the civil suit, Castaneda was highly intoxicated and caused Moore's client "severe, permanent injuries." The suit further contends that the club's security tapes could show Castaneda's consumption of alcohol, overservice of same and possibly even the assault itself, and, as such, constitute critical evidence.

A mere two days later, a second suit was filed. This one alleges that a Roak bouncer cracked open the head of a patron who got into a dispute with the club's valets.

According to attorney Justin Strother's pleadings, on May 2 his client and some of his friends were attempting to leave the club, when it emerged that the valet had misplaced the plaintiff's keys. According to the suit, the bouncer (listed as John Doe in the suit) intervened and threatened Strother's client physically.

Strother has a fairly dramatic writing style, so we will give you his next statement of fact verbatim: "While walking away, it occurred to [his client that] without his keys, his problems was not limited to having no transportation; he realized that he did not have a key to his residence either. He turned back around. That was the last thing he remembered before regaining consciousness in an ambulance."

The suit goes on to claim that the bouncer surprised the plaintiff with a flying tackle that propelled his head into a wall at high velocity. The suit claims that the plaintiff was knocked unconscious, that his scalp was split open and that enough blood gushed from the wound to form pools on the ground. Strother's client was taken to Memorial Hermann hospital, where his gash was stapled shut.

According to the suit, the wound has caused the man "incredible pain" and frequent headaches. He claims that he cannot bite down hard on food and that he has been permanently disfigured "by the bad acts of the nightclub's bouncer," because hair will not grow back over the scar on his head.

John Doe is named in the suit "until such time as plaintiff learns his true identity." Also named, as in the other suit, is GWV Kirby, LLC, the company that owns Roak. Strother's suit claims that it is liable for the bouncer's actions.

Strother's suit also alleges assault and battery, negligence, and vicarious responsibility and seeks the repayment of his client's lost wages, his medical expenses, his loss of earning capacity, and mental, physical and exemplary damages.

Roak has yet to file a response.


Jon Matthews, Redux

Radio host/sex offender's brief comeback. By Richard Connelly

We'd almost forgotten about Jon Matthews, one of the worst, if popular, right-wing blowhards to inhabit the Houston talk-radio universe.

He was convicted of exposing himself to an 11-year-old girl, which, given his monotonous blubberings about Bill Clinton's lack of morals, seemed to be odd. He was given probation, but was sent to prison for violating the terms — including, according to prosecutors, drinking and possessing obscene materials.

He's apparently out of prison, but the fun continues.

He was brought by host David Babb onto The Prison Show, KPFT's weekly program about the criminal-justice system. Founded by Ray Hill, it became somewhat famous as a way for families to send messages to inmates; it also "hosts" weddings.

KPFT apparently had problems with a registered sex offender co-hosting a show, so they canned Matthews. And now Babb's quit.

He wrote on the show's Facebook page:

The management at KPFT initially objected to me bringing him on board because he was a sex-offender. After explaining to them that Dewey, who's been with the program for 23 years was a sex-offender, and I who have been there since 2003 am a sex-offender, and that their objection to Jon was discriminatory, they relented and permitted him to join the staff.

Suddenly, and without explanation, they informed me yesterday that Jon was not to be a broadcast personality on KPFT. I have dealt with oppression and discrimination as a result of my charge to a greater degree than I can any longer endure.

Babb was convicted of sexual assault of a child in 2000.

Hill may return to the show as an interim host...without Jon Matthews, we're guessing.


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