Read My Lips. My Freakishly Colored Lips.
The FBI always comes up with cool names for bank robbers, and the G-Men (and G-Women) didn't let Hair Balls down today: following a robbery at the midtown Wachovia Bank this mornings, authorities nabbed a suspect with freakishly colored lips. And now the FBI thinks he might be "Read My Lips" - a unique fellow who robbed two other Midtown banks this week.
"This suspect has a condition causing his lips to have unusual coloration, and investigation is ongoing to determine if he is 'Read My Lips,'" an FBI spokesperson stated in an e-mail this morning.
Hair Balls doesn't expect a battle of the brains here, as any dude who doesn't cover up a glaringly obvious defect / tattoo / odor before pulling off a heist isn't exactly a supervillain. We're confident the FBI will have this thing sorted out in a jiffy. But still, if you have information about this case, call the Crime Stoppers tip line at 713-222-TIPS (8477).
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.