Rick Perry Blames God For Gulf Oil Spill
The alleged culprit, giving the order to blow Deepwater Horizon
A lot of people are quick to blame BP, or the people who put together the oil rig that is currently spewing black gold into the Gulf of Mexico, but Rick Perry -- the only governor we have at the moment -- knows better.
Speaking at a Washington conference today, Perry was eager to stop any of that tree-hugging talk that would argue a simple huge, gigantic oil-rig disaster should stop anyone from drilling in the Gulf.
Perry said that the accident "could be an act of God," Politico reports, thereby being the first Gulf governor to squarely put the blame where it belongs -- not on the oil industry, but on Yahweh.
Yahweh -- a/k/a the Supreme Being (we think that's his rap name) -- could not be reached for comment to defend Himself against Perry's accusation.
Houston Texans vs. Arizona Cardinals
TicketsSun., Nov. 19, 12:00pm
Rice Owls Football vs. North Texas
TicketsSat., Nov. 25, 12:00pm
Houston Texans vs. San Francisco 49ers
TicketsSun., Dec. 10, 12:00pm
Houston Texans vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
TicketsMon., Dec. 25, 3:30pm
Houston Open - Good Any One Day Grounds
TicketsSun., Apr. 1, 11:59pm
Perry did not elaborate on why he thought the All-Powerful would set loose millions of gallons of crude upon some of the most fragile coastline in His creation. Probably some insurance scam or something.
After putting a target on God's back, Perry emphasized the most important thing to be learned from what's happened -- we should not stop drilling.
"We don't know what the event that has allowed for this massive oil to be released," Perry said alongside several other governors on a panel Monday. "And until we know that, I hope we don't see a knee-jerk reaction across this country that says we're going to shut down drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, because the cost to this country will be staggering."
Maybe God should think about such things before He decides to blow up an oil rig, for crissakes.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Houston, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.