Rick Perry: Let's Rank The Top 10 Most Wanted
Rick Perry's office has issued an official release today announcing that "Jose H. Morales, a member of the Mexican Mafia," has been arrested.
Morales was a member of the states' Top 10 Most Wanted Fugitives list. We don't recall Perry issuing a big press release when other members of that list were arrested -- and a quick search of the archives doesn't reveal any -- but maybe there's something special about this one. Like the words "Mexican" and "mafia."
But how best to milk this? Increase the awards for tips leading to arrests of the Top 10? Nope -- he already did that in April.
Wait a second, though -- by God he has come up with a new wrinkle: Rank those Top 10!!!
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. Louisville Cardinals College Football
TicketsThu., Nov. 17, 7:00pm
Rice University Owls Football vs. UTEP Miner Football
TicketsSat., Nov. 19, 11:00am
SWAC Football Championship
TicketsSat., Dec. 3, 3:00pm
TicketsSat., Jan. 7, 7:00pm
And the higher the ranking, the bigger the payoff!
"Increasing these rewards based on the offender's rank on the list will encourage Texans, who have information about the most dangerous individuals in our state, to notify authorities and help bring these criminals to justice," Perry said.
But that's only half the benefit, governor: You think the BCS rankings create a lot of bar talk? Just wait until the call-in shows start debating the Top 10 Most Wanted Fugitives list!!
"Yeah, hi, how you guys doing? I love your show -- "
"Turn down your radio, sir."
"Oh right, sorry -- anyways, How are you guys doing? I love your show and I just want to say there's NO WAY Gwen Komahcheet should be ranked ahead of Ricardo Zuniga. First off, he's got a girl's name, and second of all he's not affiliated with any gang, and Zuniga is affiliated with Barrio Azteca, and they play a much tougher schedule. I'll hang up and listen."
Ranking criminals -- genius move, Governor. Thanks.
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