Shocking news from the college football world today: Texas A&M's Johnny Manziel is "stepping away" from Twitter.
Financial analysts are divided as to whether Twitter will be able to withstand this defection and still somehow stay alive. College football fans are in a panic knowing they won't get the chance to watch Johnny Football embarrass himself on the Internet as only a BMOC Aggie can.
@JManziel2 has entertained fans and foes with tales of Cabo, Mardi Gras, and various NFL games -- key aspects, no doubt, of coach Kevin Sumlin's demanding recommended offseason workout program.
For now, though, we are left with this poignant, trenchant farewell message:
Fighting for truth, justice and Aaron Craft -- a fitting farewell, indeed. (Or, on the other hand, "Getting involved in a pointless online squabble with people you don't even know -- a fitting farewell, indeed.")
In looking back on Johnny Football's brief but thrilling Twitter career -- because there's no way he will ever go back on Twitter to let fans know of his latest adventures -- we chose not to look at his more famous partying tweets. Instead we offer five of the most underrated tweets from the supernova burst that was Johnny Football & Twitter.
5. An Aggie appreciation of art You can keep your Ansel Adamses, your Richard Avedons, your instagrams and your Lincoln daguerreotypes.
Johnny Football knows photography. And according to a tweet, this is the "GREATEST PICTURE EVER!"
4. For your reading pleasure No one can keep up with everything written about Manziel, except for one person: Johnny Manziel. And he's thoughtful enough to share his findings with his fans:
3. Sex education As an Aggie, Manziel no doubt believes strongly in abstinence-only sex education (not to mention no pre-marital sex, of course). His fans, too, are eager to spread the "Save It For Marriage" message:
2. It's all about the work ethic Johnny Football doesn't like to brag. But sometimes you just have to let people know how much film study you're doing, breaking down opponents' defensive schemes. That is what he's talking about, right?
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1. What could go wrong? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.