R.I.P. Tim Tebow, The NFL Quarterback (April 22, 2010 - April 29, 2013)
Rex, Rex, why hast thou forsaken me?.
Judging by the tsunami level downpour of rain and hail along with the two-hour strobe light of lightning, it was around 3:30 p.m. Houston time on Saturday when the Jets officially decided to release football's former "chosen one," quarterback Tim Tebow.
They just chose to announce it publicly on Monday.
For it was Monday morning when the news came down that, after forfeiting a 4th round draft pick last season, $1.5 million in salary and eventually about $4 million to Denver to complete last year's trade, the Jets
realized what every football fan with a brain, even Stephen A. Smith, had been already knew decided that the circus that came with Tebow, the thousands of sycophants thinking he was some sort of read option messiah, just wasn't worth the trouble anymore.
Seventy-seven offensive snaps. That's it, that's all the action Tebow saw in 2012, proving that Rex Ryan's hypothesis about using him "20 percent of the plays" was either a poor attempt at being coy or laughably inaccurate forecasting. Whatever the case, Tebow's failure in New York has multiple layers:
1. It means we can finally put to bed ridiculous arguments like the one below between Skip Bayless (the patron saint of ridiculous arguments) and Stephen A. Smith about Tebow's ability to win games in the NFL:
Battle of the Piney Woods: SFA vs. SHSU
TicketsSat., Oct. 1, 3:00pm
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. Tulsa Golden Hurricane Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 15, 11:00am
Rice University Owls Football vs. UTSA Roadrunners Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 15, 6:00pm
Rice University Owls Football vs. Prairie View A&M University Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 22, 2:30pm
Keep in mind that there are literally dozens of YouTube clips like this one with Bayless verbally fellating Tim Tebow, but I chose this one because Bayless' entire argument as to why he's correct is that "Jon Gruden agrees with me!", as if Gruden doesn't make evaluation and assessment mistakes on a fairly frequent basis. What's even funnier is that Smith actually accepts Gruden's stamp of approval as an acceptable finishing move for Bayless' winning that battle in the quest for supremacy in the category of "inane Tebow-related arguments."
2. It means that Tebow screwed up royally in choosing to go to New York instead of going to Jacksonville. According to reports, when the trade went down last year, Tebow had final say over which team he would go to. For marketing reasons, he chose New York. Tough to market anything, though, when your entire gimmick is "polarizing, third-string quarterback." Conversely, if Tebow went to Jacksonville he would be the starter and own the town. Granted, he'd be the starter for a 2-14 team, and the town he would own would be, well, Jacksonville, but hey it would be better than getting kicked to the curb (I think).
3. As of right now, as long as Tebow insists on being a quarterback, some team in Canada is probably the favorite to land his services. If Tebow does find his way back into an NFL camp, it will likely be as some sort of an H-back or tight end.
This would mean we would all get a heaping helping of this...
....and I'm good with that.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.