Santa's Kicking Some Hitler Ass, Kids: Christmas Ads for WWII War Bonds
Nothing says "Christmas" like killing people.
Boys and girls hoping for fire trucks or dolls in World War II sometimes had to settle for war bonds, if their parents acted like these ads told them to.
"Yes, Bobby, you asked Santa for a Joe DiMaggio baseball bat, but Santa has to teach the Hun a lesson first" -- Ah, such memories.
Here are five of these paeans to Jesus.
5. "Merry Christmas and to all a Good Fight" Not directly a war-bond ad, it nevertheless sets the tone. If you can't read the note, war-plant employees tell Santa the goodies in the bag are for "our boys on the fighting front. They'll DELIVER them to Messrs. Hitler, Tojo and Mussolini."
4. "A size for every member of the family!"
We don't know about you, but that is one sassy, sexy-looking gray-haired mama there. But she's wielding that rolled-up wad of war bonds like she's going to be teaching Pops about strap-on sex.
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3. War Bonds, sure, but don't forget material things
They're giving each other war bonds because they're "making sure there'll be years of real American Christmases to come."
But it's not all about freedom and ending the horrors of Nazi enslavement: "And we're also building a nest egg for the Hotpoint Electric Kitchen we're going to buy as soon as Hotpoint turns from war work to making home appliances again."
2. Christmas in Moscow
Sure, we were allies at the time, but this poster is just a bit too Soviet for our All-American taste.
1. If Daddy ain't getting Christmas, ain't no one getting Christmas
"You hear me, Claus? Tell those fat-assed home-fronters to make it a damn war-bonds Christmas, so they can be as deprived of gifts, booze and fun as we are!!"
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