Seahawks QB Russell Wilson and Ciara Striving to Become Most Hated Couple on the Internet
On Sunday morning, thanks to a report from the State of the Texans blog (and as first reported by Adam Schefter of ESPN), we found out that Seattle Seahawks free agent offensive tackle Russell Okung would be visiting the Texans.
It was an interesting and unexpected nugget, only because the Texans seem to have their tackle situation under control to where signing a big name would be off the board. That said, the Houston visit could be due to the fact Okung is from here, and it's easy enough to visit your hometown team and combine it with whatever business you have back home.
On the surface, you'd think that Okung, who oddly enough is representing himself in contract negotiations with no agent, would need a pretty good reason to leave a team that will be on the short list of Super Bowl contenders for the next few years, at least.
Me, I choose to believe that Okung is in the process of leaving the Seattle Seahawks — he's visited the Steelers and the Lions as well — because he can no longer protect the blind side of a twit like Russell Wilson and continue to look at himself in the mirror. Those two things, keeping other football-playing human beings from harming Wilson and Okung maintaining his own self-esteem, are now officially mutually exclusive.
And it's all Wilson's fault.
Why am I saying this? Well, because Russell Wilson and his celebrity girlfriend, singer/songwriter Ciara, are finally taking their relationship to the next level, and going from boyfriend/girlfriend to fiancé(e)s. We found this out in a Twitter video proclamation from the two that is awkward on a couple of levels.
Take a look, and then I will share those levels below...
Okay, why is this video awkward? Well, first, it involves Russell Wilson, who's about as contrived and brand-conscious an athlete as there is today (which is saying something), so there's a decent chance they shot AT LEAST four or five takes of this video before he captured the lighting exactly how he wanted and before his phony "YUH!!" sounded husky enough for his liking. Hell, Wilson is such a fabricated dink that there's a decent chance they hired a stage crew with one of those clapper board things..."Okay, Wilson/Ciara Cheeseball Engagement Video ... TAKE 31 ... aaaaannnd ACTION..."
Second, the video involves Russell Wilson and Ciara, whose collective abstinence from sex for God-related reasons is well on its way to getting its own 30 for 30 at some point, we've heard THAT MUCH about it. The above tweet got a few congrats from sycophant Seahawk fans, but also our fair share of these...
We needed more tweets like that one. Also, Wilson's tweet needed the #humblebrag hashtag.
So Russell Wilson announces their engagement on Twitter, and if it had stopped there, while I still would've been stuck with a dry cleaning bill to get the vomit off my shirt, I'd have been able to leave well enough alone. Certainly, I wouldn't be writing a post about it, like I am right now. Of course, because he's Russell Wilson, he couldn't just announce their engagement and lie low. Two days later, he had to tell us about his new hobby — photography. Specifically, he took this splashing-in-the-water picture of his new (and admittedly gorgeous) fiancée...
...and this one...
Naturally, these are the only pictures he's taken and tweeted. Hey, Russ, unless you're ALSO taking pictures of a sunset or a puppy or some other inanimate object, it's not a hobby. If all you're doing is taking pictures of your fashion model fiancée and tweeting them out, it's not a hobby, it's a #humblebrag.
Again, not able to help himself, and seemingly addicted to being a cheesy douchenozzle on Twitter, Wilson posted this one on Sunday morning, reminding all of us that, indeed, the two are still engaged two days after announcing it to the world...
I can't even imagine how cheeseball the conversation was leading up to this video clip. "Hey, baby, I got a GREAT idea! How about we say 'girlfriend....boyfriend....NAH'." "Oh, baby, you're so funny!!" And then, after like 26 takes, they get it exactly the way they wanted it, tweet it out and think it's just the goddamn coolest thing ever.
At this point, Russell Wilson is well on his way to becoming the most hated player in the NFL — hated by anyone with any semblance of self-awareness, at least.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on SportsRadio 610 from 2 to 7 p.m. weekdays. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanTPendergast and like him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/SeanTPendergast.
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