Seriously, Hil, LYLAS
So it seemsHilary Duff
is doing better than her boring, conformist former friends in Houston. The 18-year-old actress/singer/geophysicist
this month that she doesn't know what her life would be like if she hadn't moved. She then goes on to diss her old H-town crew:
"It's scary to see some of them now. They work so hard to be the same as one another. They all do the same things and get into trouble because they're bored. I'm so much more my own person now."
Battle of the Piney Woods: SFA vs. SHSU
TicketsSat., Oct. 1, 3:00pm
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. Tulsa Golden Hurricane Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 15, 11:00am
Rice University Owls Football vs. UTSA Roadrunners Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 15, 6:00pm
Rice University Owls Football vs. Prairie View A&M University Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 22, 2:30pm
Hil, baby, let's talk. I think I know what your life would be like if you hadn't moved. For starters, you wouldn't have made either of the Cheaper By the Dozen installments, which are to film what Auschwitz was to Jews. And yes, I realize it's too easy a target, but seriously, the only movies Steve Martin makes these days are the ones with young chicks he wants to bang. Shopgirl? No, I'm not saying that you slept with Steve Martin, but it's a distinct possibility. A distinctly disgusting possibility (and not office safe, either, if ya get my drift). And it never would've been a possibility had you not left Houston.
Yet, had you stayed here, you probably would've wound up with a River Oaks sugardaddy. And you're dating that dude from Good Charlotte, which is sorta like dating a dude in a Tomball High Blink-182 cover band. So, aside from the shitty movies, I think your life would've pretty much been the same. And everyone else's would've been a tiny bit better. -- Craig Malisow
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.