There's Texas-OU in the Red River Shootout (eff that "Rivalry" crap). Florida-Georgia in the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. And Oregon-Oregon State in the Civil War.
And then there's the Battle of the Piney Woods, where two meth-fueled, teeth-lacking inbred teams get togeth -- no, no, NOT AT ALL.
It's where two fine institutions from East Texas, Sam Houston State and Stephen F. Austin, get together for bragging rights.
And this year they're doing it here. This weekend, in fact.
"It's the first time they've ever played it off-campus," the Houston Texans' Zac Emmons tells Hair Balls. "The intensity for the two teams' fan bases is every bit as intense as in those other rivalries."
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The Texans and Lone Star Sports & Entertainment, one of the cluster of entities involved in the Reliant Stadium complex, is putting on the game in a first foray into smaller-college football. (The county stages TSU and Prairie View A&M at the stadium each year, not the Texans or LSSE.)
They're looking to sell out the lower bowl for the event, and Emmons thinks they have a chance to outsell last week's Rice-UH game.
"It'll be half Stephen F. Austin, half Sam Houston," he says of the 26,000-plus that can fit into the lower bowl.
Both teams have big alumni bases in town, so tailgating and trash-talking is expected to be plentiful. Kickoff is at 2 p.m. Saturday, and there's further info here.