She (Allegedly) Just Wants To Have Sex With A Hermann Park Statue. The Odd Thing Is, The Statue In Question Is Not Sam Houston
Via Swamplot, we get this video, about a woman who really, really really likes a statue in Hermann Park.
The woman in the above video loves the Pioneer Memorial in Hermann Park (Motto: "Oh, that's what that thing is called?") She first rubs herself all over to a video of it, then cuddles with it in person.
"I think I just came," she says in excitement as she walks up to it.
Rice Owls Mens Basketball vs. Charlotte Mens Basketball
TicketsSat., Jan. 28, 7:00pm
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 10AM-3PM
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 10:00am
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 3PM-8PM
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 3:00pm
Super Bowl Opening Night Fueled By Gatorade
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 7:00pm
And as she sits on it, she mentions how she'd like to have sex with it, telling it "I know you're really big but trust me, I can handle it. If you're gentle." (We're pretty sure the memorial would let her take the lead.)
Spoof, deranged person, or just another day in Hermann Park? We report, you decide.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Houston, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.