She (Allegedly) Just Wants To Have Sex With A Hermann Park Statue. The Odd Thing Is, The Statue In Question Is Not Sam Houston
Via Swamplot, we get this video, about a woman who really, really really likes a statue in Hermann Park.
The woman in the above video loves the Pioneer Memorial in Hermann Park (Motto: "Oh, that's what that thing is called?") She first rubs herself all over to a video of it, then cuddles with it in person.
"I think I just came," she says in excitement as she walks up to it.
And as she sits on it, she mentions how she'd like to have sex with it, telling it "I know you're really big but trust me, I can handle it. If you're gentle." (We're pretty sure the memorial would let her take the lead.)
Spoof, deranged person, or just another day in Hermann Park? We report, you decide.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.