Sheila, You Don't Have To Give Up Your Crusade To Honor Michael Jackson
A dream dies hard. Harder than a (n alleged) pedophile.
Speaker of the U.S. House Nancy Pelosi delivered the hard news today in a press conference: The resolution by Houston's Sheila Jackson Lee honoring Michael Jackson wasn't going anywhere.
"What I have said to my colleagues over the years, and certainly as leader and as speaker, is that there's an opportunity on the floor of the House to express their sympathy or their praise any time that they wish. I don't think it's necessary for us to have a resolution." Ms. Pelosi said floor debate on such a resolution "would open up to contrary views that are not necessary at this time to be expressed in association with a resolution whose purpose is quite different."
Who could possibly have "contrary views" to honoring Michael Jackson? From all we've been able to tell by watching CNN, he was a great guy.
Republicans, however, have different ideas. One walked out when members of the Black Congressional Caucus asked the House for a moment of silence. A New York rep issued a video calling Jackson a "pervert."
So Lee's motion will apparently die. Still, there are other ways she could honor Jackson, right here in her district.
1. Rename the Johnson Space Center. Call it Moonwalk Central. Make all NASA employees wear spangled semi-military uniforms. Lab workers handling moon rocks will wear only one white glove.
2. Rename the Family Justice Center. Kids have been getting screwed there via divorce lawyers for ages. You could call it the Michael Jackson Center for Settling Cases Out of Court.
3. Rename the barren patch of land where Astroworld used to be. Call it Neverland. As in, development on that land ain't never gonna happen anytime soon.
We know Sheila Jackson Lee is not one to back down from a lunatic fight -- remember how she refused to count the 2004 presidential votes in Ohio? -- so we can only urge her to keep pressing on with this noble cause.
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