Social Distortion: The Little Election That Could
Note: Feel free to sing along with John Denver at any time. This is wholesome social media activism the whole family can enjoy!
There was a land of Persians with loads and loads of hope,
All gearing up to elect a new President that was not a dope,
And as the polling stations began to chug along,
The little election they'd wished for was going very wrong.
Who, who (who, who)? Mahmoud, fuck you! You rigged the vote today.
Oh, Iran talked back, oh clickity clack, this shit is not okay!
The opposition was so pissed off, so it took to the streets
They tried to speak out peacefully, but were beaten back by Basij
Official forces took up arms, and swung their sticks all day;
They put their guns down long enough to wank their cocks and say,
"You can't go on the Internet, you ain't got no proxy;
Forget Facebook, your blog is fucked, 'cause you voted Mousavi."
Tehran tried to laugh last, but all in vain, alas, alack,
'Cause then big bad Twitter and pals took the state aback
The Twitterverse had everyone change time zone and locale,
And Boing Boing waged a cyberwar short of translating Pascal.
Don't fuck with them, those Iranians know better than the likes of you;
Even soccer stars ain't afraid of wearing green bands in public view.
The Ayatollah's bitches balked, 'cause free will is so mean,
And cooked up a plan of censorship that Iranians hadn't seen
IRGC said, "Take down the shit that creates tension;"
The response was clear, from Rome to Nome: "FUCK THE INSTITUTION!"
If you're in Iran, just grab your cam, don't worry 'bout The Man
No violence on sites like YouTube? Now, oh yes, you can!
Up Mount Social Media, young Iranians claw and climb;
And maybe when hell freezes, believing won't be such a crime.
Although this ends the ditty, stave off your morning wood
To take a lesson from the little election that could:
You never have to take it up the ass
From a tyrant or his brood,
And very soon, it's clear to see
Your balls are bigger, too.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.