Sorry, Mark Zuckerberg: 10 Reasons Why I'm Not Spending $40 to Buy a Facebook Share
You'll have to get your $40 somewhere else, Zuckerberg.
Here's a scoop: Facebook is having an IPO today. This under-the-radar stock sale will make billions for investors.
Although everyone is keeping things on the down-low, the IPO means -- I'm guessing here, Wall Street is really not my forte -- that you can buy a share of Facebook stock, currently trading at about $40.
I've considered carefully the idea of doing so, and -- sorry, Mark Zuckerberg -- I must respectfully decline. The investment opportunity just doesn't feel right to me at the moment.
My ten reasons why:
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 10AM-3PM
TicketsFri., Mar. 31, 10:00am
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 3PM-8PM
TicketsFri., Mar. 31, 3:00pm
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 10AM-6PM
TicketsSun., Apr. 2, 10:00am
Rice Owls Men's Baseball vs. Louisiana Tech Bulldogs Men's Baseball
TicketsFri., Apr. 7, 6:30pm
10. I have discovered that even if I bought a share, I would not really have much of a say in the company. Zuckerberg will have 56 percent of the voting shares. If I can't push through a vote on banning FarmVille, what's the point?
9. Today's Houston Press Voice Daily Deal is $37 to participate in the military-style obstacle-course 5K Rebel Race on June 9. I have a couple of weeks to get in shape for it, so that's a better use of my money.
8. Apparently stock prices can go down as well as up. If I pay 40 bucks for a share today and Tuesday it's selling at $33, that's one less Minute Maid Park beer for me. Have you tried watching the Astros sober lately?
7. I don't like the new timeline thing.
6. I'm still bitter about my investment in the Prodigy IPO.
5. Truth be told, I tried to watch The Social Network, but the combination of standard Aaron Sorkin rapid-fire arch dialogue and Jesse Eisenberg got the better of me. Something about that guy bugs me.
4. I can't get to an ATM right now. I assume you're only taking cash.
3. MySpace was big once, too. Sic transit gloria and all that.
2. I prefer not to associate with a bunch of one-percenters.
1. I'm pretty sure you're blasting all my personal information all over the net, but I can't be bothered to learn the intricate process for getting you to stop that.
So what can I say? Sorry, Zuckerberg. You're on your own with this one.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Houston, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.