KPRC has broken the story of a Houston-based Southwest pilot who got a little chatty without realizing his cockpit microphone was on.
Air-traffic controllers were treated to a rundown on how the unnamed pilot thinks most Houston flight attendants are ugly, with a couple of gay slurs tossed in to liven things up.
Among the pearls of wisdom: "Now I'm back in Houston, which is easily where the ugliest base is. I mean it's all these (expletive) old dudes and grannies and there's like maybe a handful of cute chicks."
And: "Well, I had Tucson to Indy all four weeks and, uh, Chicago crews...11 out of 12...there's 12 flight attendants, individual, never the same flight attendant twice. Eleven (expletive) over the top (expletive), (expletive) homosexuals and a granny. Eleven. I mean, think of the odds of that. I thought I was in Chicago, which was party-land. ... After that, it was just a continuous stream of gays and grannies ..."
Elsewhere he describes "fags" and how they cramp his playa lifestyle.
The guy definitely needs to get laid. His description of one night out:
At the very end with two girls, one of them that was part do-able, but we ended up going to the bar and then to the crew at St. Louis, and all these two women wanted to do was, one wanted to berate her sister and the other wanted to bitch about her husband."
And she was part do-able, too!!! The tragedy!!
The no doubt studly-looking pilot has been disciplined by Southwest, although the airline won't say how long he was suspended without pay. He also went through "diversity training" after the March incident.
Southwest spokesperson Brandi King said in a statement that included capitalization straight out of the Declaration of Independence:
We are committed and dedicated to maintaining the highest standard of ethics in the industry; in fact we've built our Company's reputation on the Golden Rule: treating others as you would like to be treated. The actions of this Pilot are, without question, inconsistent with the professional behavior and overall respect that we require from our Employees.
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After the guy finally turned off his mike, by the way, other pilots began chiming in to air-traffic control for instructions and also to say, "That wasn't me!!"
"And they wonder why airline pilots have a bad reputation," one says.
KPRC has the audio here.
Update: Our sister paper says Southwest's flight attendants are pissed. Rightfully so.