You don't need me to tell you that It's been a rough week for our city. That's fairly obvious. Just drive around the parts of the city that don't drain all that well, and take a look at the debris. Look at the discarded furniture in front of every house in Meyerland. Go on Twitter and search the phrase "abandoned vehicle," look at all the pictures of highways disguised as muddy rivers with car roofs peering out from under the water. And when I say muddy rivers, I mean disgusting, chocolate brown. The only thing missing is Augustus Gloop kneeling alongside Allen Parkway shoveling handfuls of the toxic liquid into his pie hole.
In times like these, we seek refuge in whatever brings us peace, and for many of us (especially if you're reading my posts to this news blog), that solace comes from sports. But hell, even that corner of our universe was infringed upon with the latest spate of cataclysmic floods this past week. Hundreds of Rocket fans were forced to stay behind at Toyota Center after the Rockets' Game 4 win over Golden State last Monday night so as to avoid turning their vehicles into submarines on any of the dozens of roads buried by rain water.
The only savings graces in the Great Toyota Lockdown of 2015 were 1) the Rockets won, so the mood seemed moderately festive (at least it appeared that way on TV) and 2) Dwight Howard was stuck with all the fans at the arena, so some of the fans got to meet their favorite fart-loving, shot-blocking center in the NBA.
You would think after a week like the one we had, Mother Nature would let us watch our Houston Astros in peace this past weekend. But alas, Mother Nature is a filthy, grimy whore.
Not only did she refrain from leaving us alone, not only did she deprive us of peace, she actually saw her Monday peccadilloes and raised the stakes. She piled on even further. She upped her own ante, the malignant bitch! She not only dumped another several thousand sheets of water on the city, stranding everyone at Minute Maid Park, she actually dumped so much water on us on Saturday, that the roof of the ballpark sprung leaks everywhere (or had already existing leaks exposed, may be more accurate) and effectively made parts of the stadium its own body of water.
Yes, even "inside at a roof covered stadium" is not considered a safe haven from that wench anymore. In case you missed it (or if you just want to relive it, since nobody died inside Minute Maid), here are the sights and sounds from inside a rain soaked Astros game on Saturday.
It started with a steady trickle in between gaps in the roof. From a distance, the initial phase is evident, with water seeping down the wall above the standing area in the outfield….
It all looks peaceful enough from afar, but here's a YouTube version of what was actually occurring in the Crawford Boxes. People were using their complimentary George Springer jerseys as towels,for God's sakes! SACRILEGE!
Here is a look at the centerfield concourse area where miraculously there is no one kayaking between food stands.
Wow. Minute Maid Park. Via D. Hogard pic.twitter.com/CHu9dPOGZ6— David W. Cash (@dwcashMLB) May 31, 2015
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A second view of the concourse where a few people appear to be stranded at the entrance of a runway. Thankfully, they are within arm's reach of the condiment stand, so they were able to subsist on a steady diet of relish packets and diced onions….
Pic inside Minute Maid Park at last night's Astros/White Sox game. Heavy rain mid-game flooded a couple concourses. pic.twitter.com/ZSNWvUMDo3— Amanda Hanson (@Ahansonkfvs) May 31, 2015
So there was a geyser erupting in the middle of the concourse, which would be fine if there were normally some sort of fountain in that spot when it's dry. However, there isn't. It's just a drain hole, which means God only knows what type of filth is being spewed into the air and landing at everyone's feet in this picture.