Starting the Day Off Right: The Greatest Alley Oop in Swimming Pool History (w/ Zapruder VIDEO)
If you're between the ages of eight and 15, you know that pool games are a big part of the summer.
For purposes of this post, a "pool game" is defined as any borderline stupid human trick involving multiple human beings, a ball, and some sort of element that could result in one or more broken necks.
When I was a kid, our big pool game was when my brother, Jeff Doyle and I would line up, one of us at the shallow end of the pool, one of us on the side and one on the diving board. "Shallow-end guy" would throw the length of the pool to "diving-board guy" mid-jump, who would have to complete it to "side-of-pool" guy while in the air.
The challenge was how many consecutive times we could complete that sequence with no drops. Being suburban white kids, we had pretty good hands. i think our record was like 58 or something.
As impressive a Suburban Olympics feat as that may sound like, it had nothing on these kids (who appear to be about junior high age) completing this seven-man pool alley pop:
I'm pretty sure that my brother, Jeff Doyle and I could have recruited LeBron, Carmelo, and two Globetrotters and would still be trying to complete that sequence in, like, 2019. That's unbelievable, and deserves a Zapruder analysis of all the underrated potential points of failure.
(ZAPRUDER TRIVIA: At 6.2 seconds, this is far and away the shortest video that I've ever conducted a Zapruder analysis on.) 0:00.3 -- Underrated play #1: The initial pass by Dude 1 was on the money. I'm curious how many failed attempts there were on this dunk sequence, period, and in turn, I'm really curious how many of those failed attempts started with an initial pass that didn't even get out of the gates. Bonus points for adding the through-the-legs dip before even launching the pass.
0:02.1 -- Underrated play #2: Dudes 2, 3 and 4 miraculously completing the three-pronged lateral sequence without anybody sustaining a cracked skull courtesy of somebody else's flailing leg. (Watch the sequence the whole way through a second time, and look for Dude #2, red-bathing-suit guy, slowly emerging from underwater after the sequence is over. He was clearly hiding underwater praying nobody was going to land on top of him.)
0:04.9 -- Underrated play #3: Dude 6 with the blind sit-down pass that was timed perfectly and launched at the ideal height for Dude 7 (more on him in about 0.5 seconds), if there was one guy who probably caught the most grief in the multiple attempts to complete this sequence, I'm guessing it was yellow-bathing-suited Dude 6 for two reasons: 1) If the play made it that far, it meant they were one element away from completion, so a screw-up there would be far more emotionally painful (the "ohhhhh...SOOOOO close!!!" factor), and 2) Dude 6 is the only one of the entire bunch who got to sit on his ass the whole time and do virtually nothing physical (the "backyard pool stunt backlash" factor).
0:5.4 -- Underrated play #4: OOHHHHH...THERE IT IS!!! You can't say enough about the balls of Dude 7, not only for the flush, but for having the stones to sprint and plant on wet pavement. One misstep and his season of freshman football or whatever is toast.
5.9 -- Icing on the cake: The rim coming loose and dropping down to its bottom notch, the "SEND IT IN, JEROME" breakage on the Jerome Lane finish.
Yeah, this was way cooler than our 1983 Nerf football game.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 Yahoo! Sports Radio from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays and nationally on the Yahoo! Sports Radio network Saturdays from 10 a.m. to noon CST. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- #BlackLivesMatter Faces Backlash After Deputy’s Slaying
Sat., Sep. 5, 12:00am
Sat., Sep. 5, 12:00pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 2:30pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 6:00pm
- College Football: Five Best Bets On Season Win Totals
- With No Funding, Texas Race Tracks Ordered to Close — at Least for Now