STD App: Does Your Date Have More Claps Than the Coliseum? There's an App for That.
So there you are on your first date, and everything's going wonderfully: You have a cozy, romantic corner booth at the Golden Corral, and she looks positively beautiful. You think you'll both be spending the night together. After you settle the bill and walk toward the car, you find yourself in that awkward first-date moment where you're not sure how to proceed with your question. With some trepidation, you lean in closer, slip your hand around her waist and whisper in her ear: "You don't have anal herpes, do you?"
All too familiar, right? Well, an iPhone app called Chec-Mate will let you avoid the awkward does-my-date-have-an-STD rigmarole from now on.
Here's how the $1.99/year-app works: You submit your pic (your face, not your junk) and download a "Screening Verification Form." You take the form to a Chec-Mate-authorized screening facility, get tested and upload your results. Presto! Now everyone will know your history, and you'll know theirs.
Of course, you might be skeptical and have some questions, which fortunately Chec-Mate's site addresses. Our favorite FAQ is "What's the difference in using Chec-Mate to share my screening information vs carrying my paper results around?" The site helpfully points out that paper results "can easily be altered," but doesn't address the bigger question here, namely: Why have you been carrying around your STD screening records? Are they always on you, or do you just bring 'em along for special occasions, like a date or a cousin's Bar Mitzvah?
Rice University Owls Football vs. Prairie View A&M University Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 22, 2:30pm
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. UCF Knights Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 29, 11:00am
Rice University Owls Football vs. Florida Atlantic University Owls Football
TicketsSat., Nov. 5, 2:30pm
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. Tulane University Football
TicketsSat., Nov. 12, 11:00am
Also, not everyone's Chec-Mate records might be as thorough as yours. The Web site includes a screenshot of some woman who, while negative for HIV and gonorrhea, shows a "not screened" for chlamydia. And while she shows she's positive for syphilis, we, personally, could live with a little syphilis; it's the chlamydia wild card that would really make us nervous.
We also dig the testimonials, like the one from Jennifer Freeman, who says, "I thought this was a joke at first....thank you guys for all you do!" Or Steven Peters (of Atlanta, Georgia), who says, "It's about time someone created something like this!"
Now those are two people who probably don't have syphilis. We hope that somehow, someway, they'll one day find themselves at that corner booth in the Golden Corral. We wish them the best.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.