Rare is the athlete (especially an NBA player, let alone an NBA player who was selected to multiple All-Star Games) whom people are able to enjoy more in retirement than they did during his playing days.
I think it's safe to say that, for me, Steve Francis has cracked that elusive list.
When you consider how unwatchable the Stevie Franchise Rockets were back in the early 2000s, how mind-numbing it was to watch him pound the ball into the floor for 22 seconds before chucking up some ill-advised heave, and how bizarre the whole Stevie-Cuttino experience was, "playing career Franchise" is not really all that tough a bar for "retirement Franchise" to clear.
And rest assured "retirement Franchise" is clearing that bar by a solid few feet.
I mean, if you go put "Steve Francis" in the search box on YouTube, you get just as many sick career highlight videos like this...
....as you do videos of Stevie getting all crazy in the club, like this...
These are the fringe benefits of being a guy who got paid $30 million to go the hell away when he was traded to the Portland Trail Blazers.
So no big surprise then that the latest adventures of Stevie Franchise take place at a rap show right here in the city of Houston! Over the weekend, Francis was onstage with the Sauce Twinz, a local rap duo here in Houston. Francis, 38, was just up there onstage, enjoying himself to the mellifluous tones of the Twinz of Sauce, when all of a sudden some rapscallion did THIS...
Does the thief even know who he just perpetrated that act upon?!? How do you do a local legend like the Franchise like that?!? According to TMZ, after nearly hanging Francis like (SPOILER ALERT!) Brody at the end of Season 3 of Homeland with his gold chain, the thief made off with his prize and, as of this morning, is still at large.
If you have any information as to who the criminal might be, please forward all leads to Steve Francis's music studio. He will be there, no doubt, cutting his next big follow-up song to his smash hit "The Finer Things"...
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
....even though, according to Steve, he can still play...