Still the Best at Being the Worst: Four Texans Honored in Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
Winners of an international literary parody contest were recently announced, and four Texans made the cut out of more than 10,000 applicants.
Syler Womack, from podunk Eustace, set about an hour’s drive southeast of Dallas, was named runner-up in the Western category for this submission:
“Slim pulled the branding iron away from the yearling’s seared flank and looked up to see Tuffy Edwards, the boss’s daughter, trotting towards him on her sorrel mare, Brandi, wearing absolutely nothing but tight blue jeans and a green tank top – her gi-normous, heaving, unrestrained hooters resembling nothing so much as a pair of fat Charolais heifers trying to beat each other through a loading chute.”
The last Texan to win the now-25-year-old Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, based at San Jose State University, was back in 1995 with the following submission from Houstonian John L. Ashman:
“Paul Revere had just discovered that someone in Boston was a spy for the British, and when he saw the young woman believed to be the spy’s girlfriend in an Italian restaurant he said to the waiter, ‘Hold the spumoni – I’m going to follow the chick an’ catch a Tory.” – Todd Spivak
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- Prosecutors: Paxton's Hollow Outrage at "DEFCON 1"
Fri., Nov. 27, 7:00pm
Sat., Nov. 28, 2:30pm
Sat., Nov. 28, 7:00pm
Sun., Nov. 29, 12:00pm
- It's Either Triumph or Disappointment for UH and Rice This Weekend
- The "No Guns" Signs Are Back Up At The Houston Zoo