Whenever someone publishes a "study" about anything, I'm immediately suspicious, particularly when that "study" is actually a survey of members of a Web site. But when that "study" is about couples spying on one another AND it was put together by a Web site built to hook women up with "sugar daddies," consider my interest piqued.
SeekingArrangement.com (gross) surveyed 22,121 members and found that 55 percent of Americans admit to have spied on a partner, most commonly by getting into someone's e-mail. My first thought went something like, "SeekingArrangement.com has 22,121 members?!?"
After my nausea subsided, and after realizing this "study" was likely a highly scientific Internet poll, I began to look a little more closely at the numbers, mainly that Houston ranked 10th in the least snoopy category. Only 48.8 percent of respondents from Houston admitted to spying on their partners...assuming they answered honestly.
Richmond, Virginia, was the least trusting, with nearly 70 percent admitting to having spied on a partner. Maybe that proximity to Washington, DC, makes them naturally less trusting.
The best part of this "study" was this part of the press release:
The Edward Snowden case has created a national debate of whether governmental spying is ever justified or purely invasive. But what about spying when it is done by our significant other?
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Yes, because this is EXACTLY the same thing. On one hand, you have a former spy contractor leaking documents containing all kinds of national secrets. On the other, an antsy girlfriend rifling through the texts of her philandering beaux. The similarities are startling and eerie.
But if there was one bit of information (and I use that term very loosely) to be gleaned from this "study," it is the statistic that 73 percent of women have spied on their partners and only 27 percent of men have. Considering this is a Web site for hooking up rich guys -- let's call them "Johns" -- with women looking for a little payday loving -- you see where I'm going -- color me unsurprised.
If true, however, it would validate the caricature of women as the sneaky, lying, conniving Jezebels some believe them to be. Then again, it also might just mean that men really are lying sacks of shit, on Internet surveys and elsewhere.
But that would only be if this were a real "study," which it clearly isn't. I surveyed 100 percent of the people in my office this morning, which included me and my cat, and found that 50 percent of respondents believed that Internet surveys are complete and utter bullshit. The other 50 percent was too busy licking himself to respond. Whatever, it's just science.