Suggestions for What to Put in Place of the Downtown Macy's
Photo by Jeff Balke
On September 22, the downtown Macy's (formerly Foley's for you olds) will be imploded. to make way for...well, we just don't know. So far, mum's the word on what will take its place other than a giant hole in the ground, but that should only be temporary. Anyway, given the fact that a giant hole in the ground isn't exactly what you normally find in the middle of a downtown district, unless you live in Detroit, they have to fill it with something. We have some suggestions.
Air-Conditioned Dog Park We human Houstonians have the tunnels to protect us from the brutal summer heat. Why shouldn't our dogs get the same treatment? Plus, there's the bonus that you get to be out of the heat as well when your dog sniffs a whole bunch of butts. Win-win.
Community Swimming Pool Imagine the size of the thing. It would put Barton Springs to shame! Plus, diving board from the building next door and water slide from the parking garage across the street. Look, you're already going to have a big-ass hole in the ground. Just get some concrete and a few hundred water hoses and make it happen.
Starbucks Land We already have two Starbucks locations directly across the street from one another in River Oaks; why not take it one step further and build an amusement park dedicated to the dark-roasted addiction? Best part about Starbucks Land? There are at least a dozen working Starbucks inside.
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TicketsSat., Oct. 22, 2:30pm
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Man-made Mountain One of the biggest complaints about Houston is that the landscape is boring and flat. Well, here's your answer. Call it Mount Lanier in honor of the former mayor and because it sounds like Rainier. Let people climb it and cover it in fake snow during the winter. To encourage climbers, put a Starbucks on the summit.
Walmart Get rid of the Heights one since everyone hates it -- except all the people who fill the parking lot every single day to shop there -- and move it into a luxurious steel building downtown. Seeing the People of Walmart mixing with lawyers and dudes in suits every day would be worth it.
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