Super Bowl: Five Non-Football Things We Learned

It's over. The Packers have defeated the Steelers, and now the NFL gets ready for a grim period that will probably lead to a lockout.

It was a pretty good game, although not quite the all-time classic some post-game announcers were crowing about.

We of course will leave the football analysis to our sports guys. Off the field, what did we learn?

5. Dallas was a star-crossed choice for this game God-awful weather, fans sent to the hospital by ice and snow cascading from the stadium roof, ticket-holders turned away because the newly added section their seats were in hadn't passed a fire marshal's inspection (what, he had other things to do that week?) -- the message to the NFL was clear. If you want to have a Super Bowl in Texas, do it in Houston.

4. Half-time shows can be worse than you thought Our favorite part: When the blockheads from Gumby came out to back up Fergie.

Gumby's blockheads say let's get it started
Gumby's blockheads say let's get it started

3. Violence sells We guess we don't watch many commercials other than Super Bowl Sunday -- are they always this violent? Roseanne getting felled by a tree, a guy slapping people over his Wendy's sandwich, a soda can fired into a crotch, etc., etc.: Are Itchy & Scratchy's writers moonlighting?

2. The absolute worst time to settle in and turn on your television You have a vague idea the game starts around 5 p.m. or so; you claim a chair and turn on the TV. Just in time, unfortunately, for the Fox "tradition" of having famous people read the Declaration of Independence. Because Super Bowl Sunday is all about the "He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures."

1. The silliest ongoing shot in sports television is the Cowboys Stadium neck-crane Old NFL: Sideline shots show hopped-up behemoths staring intently at the field or screaming at their teammates. The NFL in Cowboys Stadium: Sideline shots show everyone craning their necks like they're looking for Spider-Man or "Surrender, Dorothy" as they try to see replays on the blimp-sized (and blimp-height) stadium TV screen.

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