As our Sean Pendergast ably points out, the Indianapolis Colts gave a big eff-you to the Houston Texans yesterday, dealing the locals' playoff chances a deathblow. (Technically, the Texans' playoff hopes are alive, but they're as alive as David Carr's Hall of Fame candidacy.)
The Colts called off the dogs midway through the third quarter against the New York Jets yesterday, resting their starters and inserting comically inept QB Curtis Painter into the game. This allowed the Jets' comically inept QB, Matt Sanchez, to eke out a win via TDs scored by the Jets' defense and special teams.
So how does that get you free champagne?
The Colts were undefeated going into the game. If you're reading this because you're a huge free-champagne fan but not an NFL fan, they you don't know that the only NFL team to go through a season undefeated is the 1972 Miami Dolphins.
Every year since then, members of that team have opened the bubbly for a champagne toast whenever the league's last undefeated team goes down. Some years it happens early; one year it took until the Super Bowl.
Still, what's the Houston connection, you ask?
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The Hyatt Regency downtown is home to a Shula's Steak House.
So what, you say? STOP READING NOW. YOU ARE TOO DUMB ABOUT THE NFL AND ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS.
The "Shula" in Shula's is Don Shula, who was the coach of that 1972 team.
So tonight, until 10 p.m., the restaurant is offering a free glass of champagne to diners. Sure, it involves buying a no-doubt expensive steak, but you need to get something out of the Colts' screw job.