Most surveillance videos offer long stretches of not a lot happening, interspersed with a brief burst of criminal activity.
But this latest offering from Crime Stoppers and HPD, my God -- suspense, international intrigue, a frantic chase and sprint for freedom -- it's the summer blockbuster of the spring!!!
The video shows a robbery at the Indonesian Consulate earlier this month.
Okay, okay, it was more of a glorified purse-snatching. But it was a consulate! Intrigue!
A consulate employee had gone to the bank about 1:30 p.m. March 15 and noticed she was being followed by "a gold or tan minivan," according to police. She then returned to the consulate, where the director -- Michael Bay, maybe? -- yelled "Action!"
And action he got.
0:01: The employee's van pulls up to the security gate. Suspense builds as it slowly opens. We cannot hear anything, but we have to believe "Don't Stop Believin'" is on the soundtrack.
0:14: Like every human being on the planet, the driver does not wait for the gate to fully open before proceeding, ignoring clear instructions to the contrary. A rebel!
0:35: The gate begins to close. Slowly, ominously.
0:39: A figure starts running in from the right of the frame, headed for the swiftly closing door -- will he make it?
0:43: Yesss!!! He's in. Somehow he doesn't check in with Alan Rickman. Maybe he's going rogue?
0:47: The perp begins to perform the standard oh-so-casual, nothing-going-on-here, I'm just a-strollin' through the parking lot walk that has been performed by criminals since time immemorial.
0:56: He looks into the van. WHAT DOES HE SEE?
0:57: Apparently nothing, because we are now treated to a long stretch of not much happening. We like to think this is the director's winking, subtle homage to standard security video.
1:38: The perp comes sprinting into the frame, headed for the gate.....and freedom!
1:39: Closely followed by
a beefed-up Bruce Wills carrying a cannon-sized machine gun a lady in heels and a dress.
1:41: Another chaser enters the scene, slightly older, not quite as speedy as the first two people.
1:44: Dude squeezes through the gate and gets away as the chaser points in vain towards where he's made his escape.
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1:45: The older woman provides the emotional climax of the piece, with outstretched arms and a wail that would do Darth Vader proud.
Anyone with information in this case or on the identity of the wanted suspect is urged to contact the HPD Robbery Division at 713-308-0700 or Crime Stoppers at 713-222-TIPS.
Anyone who can get the name of the director, call Jerry Bruckheimer.