NASA is back in space, via a dramatic nighttime launch of the space shuttle Endeavour. The mission will expand and repair the International Space Station, and exchange out crew members.
NASA has largely dropped from public consciousness -- at least until the "Mars, Bitches!!" program begins -- but we here in Houston take space seriously.
Or do we?
Take the quiz and see if you do.
1. Part of Endeavour's mission will be to install a system that will provide future ISS visitors with a cool, refreshing drink. What is the key ingredient of the new drink?
a) Tang b) Jaegermeister c) Purple drank -- this is Houston, after all d) Human piss.
2. Crew member Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper caused a stir when she returned to earth from a mission two years ago. What did she do during the "Welcome Home" celebration that raised eyebrows?
a) Drank human piss b) Drank non-human piss c) Called for more females in the astronaut corps by singing that NASA had "99 problems but bitches ain't one" d) Fainted. Twice
3. Which of the following songs has not been used so far as a wake-up call on this mission?
a) "Start Me Up," by the Stones b) "London Calling," by the Clash c) "Shelter," by Australian artist Xavier Rudd d) "Spank Me, Fuck Me, Fill Me," by Cock & Ball Torture
4. Crew member Steven Bowen is the first astronaut to come from this part of the military:
a) The janitorial service b) The USO c) The Pentagon's Fightin' Power-Point Presentation Makers d) The submarine service
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SHOW ME HOW
5. On a previous mission, current Endeavour crew member Donald Pettit played "Jingle Bells" and "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" in space using what?
a) His unique talent to thoroughly annoy his fellow crewmates b) His own farts c) A solo-powered Moog synthesizer d) The Australian folk instrument called the didgeridoo
(Answers: All (d). If you got four out of five correct, call yourself a junior spaceman!! Go drink some piss!!)
-- Richard Connelly