Unless you don't interact with other human beings, chances are you've been in a relationship that ended in a breakup, and if that's the case, chances are there was a great feeling of relief when said relationship came to an end. And if you're really fortunate, you've run into your ex in his/her new relationship and he/she is just as delusional and annoying as he/she was when you broke up.
And you're reminded, at that moment, just how lucky you are to be free.
This feeling, where you're reminded in stark clarity what it's like to have a one-ton weight lifted from your shoulders, is exactly what Houston Texans fans had to be feeling as they watched Brock Osweiler's first OTA press conference as a Cleveland Brown.
On Wednesday afternoon, several of Brock's quotes from the media session began to trickle out on Twitter, and it was the standard phony baloney Brock fare — a bunch of quotes about being a great teammate, competition making everybody better, and usage of the formal "National Football League," as opposed to the preferred-by-most "NFL."
It was all very benign and innocent, something to chuckle at, until we got this little gem...
QB Brock Osweiler asked about Houston situation & then if he can be a starting QB in this league. You'll want to watch this exchange pic.twitter.com/VP9jaMoXtj— Daryl Ruiter (@RuiterWrongFAN) May 24, 2017
Yes, you heard that right — Brock Osweiler thinks his film over the past two years, a period of time that includes 2016, a year in which Osweiler was the worst quarterback in Texans history (not exactly an easy thing to do), contains justification that he is a capable starting quarterback in the National Football League.
If you're looking for a solid summary of Brock's 2016 film, here you go...
Perhaps Osweiler's delusion is being fed by the notion that the Browns see him as salvageable, that they've even taken a liking to him. This came from NFL Network's Ian Rapoport...
There are reasons the Browns are the Browns. Thinking that Brock Osweiler can actually still play in the NFL at a better than abysmal level is reason number 3,176. All I know is that I got the same extreme joy from watching Brock shower the media with dopey clichés that I would get in watching an ex-girlfriend wreck another relationship.
Brock is Cleveland's problem now. This is Deshaun Watson country. If you want to get the same joyful sensation I experienced watching all nine minutes and 34 seconds of the press conference, you can view it here. For the record, here is the Brock Scorecard of Delusion and Insincerity:
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NUMBER OF TIMES BROCK...
* Pivoted away from direct questions about Houston: 4
* Said "love": 4
* Said "great": 9
* Mentioned how awesome the Browns coaches are: 5
* Said how he wanted to be a great teammate: 4
* Said how hard he was working: 6
* Said "worry about what I can control": 2
* Said competition makes everyone better: 5
* Made promises about how hard he would work: 3
Good riddance, Brock.
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