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Ten Texas Towns That Could Use a Name Change

For Thanksgiving, the stunt-publicity experts at PETA are asking the tiny Texas town of Turkey to change its name to Tofurky. In exchange for the one-day name change, PETA promised to reward the town's residents with holiday meals of "Tofurky with mushroom gravy, mashed potatoes (made with vegan margarine), and vegan apple pie topped with vanilla dairy-free ice cream" -- just like the Pilgrims ate!

While we wait with bated breath to see if Turkey will indeed change its name, we're thinking of other Texas towns that might want to change their names -- not for vegan purposes, but just because their names are kinda, well, silly. Here are the towns we have so far...

Uncertain This small hamlet's moniker probably leads to much confusion.

"So where are you from?" "Uncertain." "What? How can you not know where you're from?" "I said it's Uncertain!" "Well, if you're so confused, can't you ask your mom or something?" I think you can see where we're going with this...

Van

Naming a town after the preferred mode of transportation for child molesters worldwide? No thank you. How about something more respectable, like El Camino?

Kountze Too much room for gaffes in pronunciation. Muenster Acceptable alternatives include Swiss, colby, pepperjack and gouda.

Brownwood Heh....Brownwood

Staples Sister city to Office Depot, Japan

Novice Couldn't they have at least gone with Intermediate? Iraan Aawkward. Fate To us, this just seems spooky. It might as well be called Twilight Zone, Texas, or something. A town where you go to die.

Canadian By what standards is this name acceptable?

Let us hear your suggestions!


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