Terrell Owens -- A Jackassery Video Anthology (with 6 videos)
It's always something.
The part of me that's not a huge fan of athletes calling attention to themselves, sometimes at the expense of their team, is not a big fan of Terrell Owens. The part of me that needs several hours worth of content each week, the radio host part of me, is a huge fan of Terrell Owens.
The latter part pays my bills, therefore (other than the possible cause of the injury itself, more on that in a minute) I was none too happy to hear that Terrell Owens underwent recent surgery for a torn anterior cruciate ligament. According to doctors, he is looking at rehab that would put him on the shelf until mid to late November.
So, at best, the 2011 season (assuming we have a season) will see Terrell Owens as a late season "x factor." This is no good.
I don't know if the locker room for whichever team he is employed by is a better place with Owens around; history indicates that it is for a while, and then more often than not, it unravels worse than the last 45 minutes of Wedding Crashers. But frankly, it's not my job to worry about the locker room. I'm not in a locker room.
Rice Owls Men's Baseball vs. University of Houston Cougars Baseball
TicketsTue., May. 10, 6:30pm
TicketsWed., May. 11, 12:00am
U of H Cougars Baseball v Texas A&M Corpus Christi
TicketsWed., May. 11, 5:00pm
Rice Owls Men's Baseball vs. Florida Atlantic University Owls Baseball
TicketsFri., May. 13, 7:00pm
I just know that the NFL is typically more interesting (sometimes admittedly for the wrong reasons) when Terrell Owens is a part of it. To wit, there is a story circulating that this ACL injury came as a result of work he was doing on a television show for VH-1. The only other prominent player that we could Mad-lib into this story and nod our heads that "Oh yeah, I can totally see that" is his teammate from last season, Chad Ochocinco.
At age 37, this ACL surgery may finally be the thing that renders the NFL permanently T.O.-less. If that's the case, then I want to take a trip down memory lane, one last time. So here you go, Terrell Owens jackassery portfolio in video form:
6. Terrell Owens celebrates on the Cowboys' star NOTE: Number 31 for the Cowboys in this video is actually George Teague, not Roy Williams. Frankly, there was no way Williams would have gotten there in time to knock Owens off of the star.
5. Terrell Owens has a Sharpie in his sock For all of his tomfoolery, Owens seems more like an attention-starved good guy than a destructive bad guy. For example, his "Sharpie in the sock" celebration actually touched off millions of dollars in free publicity for Sharpie, and in turn, a charitable effort to help schools in need.
4. Terrell Owens mocks Ray Lewis Okay this was just stupid. I mean, it was funny as hell, but stupid. Ray Lewis might be the scariest individual on the planet. (It's a dead heat between pre-heart attack Bob Huggins and Lewis, in my opinion.) In fact, I'm frightened Lewis might read this and see that I think this celebration is funny, and come pry my heart from my chest in sleep with his teeth.
Much more tame. And it satisfies hunger....
2. Terrell Owens is a mime I'll go on record and say that T.O. is the only mime that I've ever liked. Ever. Mimes suck.
1. Terrell Owens cries about Tony Romo taking heat And the money shot -- after years of calling quarterbacks gay (Jeff Garcia) and calling them quitters (Donovan McNabb), T.O. breaks into a completely uncomfortable and, dare I say, borderline gay crying fit about the media blistering Tony Romo after a playoff loss to the Giants. Excellent stuff.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from noon to 3 p.m. weekdays and follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.