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Texans Tackle David Quessenberry's Pickup Truck Recovered From Evil Smugglers

Not Quessenberry's truck, but close.
Not Quessenberry's truck, but close.

For Texans rookie offensive tackle David Quessenberry, OTA's and mini camp have been the best of times and the worst of times.

On the one hand, with injuries to incumbent starter Derek Newton and fellow rookie Brennan Williams, the sixth-round draft choice out of San Jose State has been given an inordinate amount of reps at the right tackle position, a position that is very much up for grabs as the Texans head to training camp next month.

It would seem Quessenberry's chances of making the team have at the very least been enhanced, perhaps even solidified.

Now for the bad news...

While his on-the-field career is blossoming nicely, Quessenberry's luck off of the field has been a bit spotty, at least as pertains to his vehicle.

As tweeted by Quessenberry on Saturday morning, on Friday night his white Ford F350 pickup truck was stolen by bad people from right out in front of the Texans' rookie hotel:

(Sidebar: If you steal someone's ride, you are inherently a bad person. As Vincent Vega said in Pulp Fiction, you don't fuck with another man's vehicle.)

In her article on this caper yesterday, Tania Ganguli of the Houston Chronicle noted that it was actually fellow sixth-round draft choice and defensive tackle Chris Jones who was borrowing Quessenberry's truck at the time that it was stolen, which may or may not have earned Jones a stray cut block or two from Quessenberry once the Texans put pads on next month.

Shortly after discovering his wheels were stolen, a presumably despondent Quessenberry tweeted out a picture of the poor ol' girl, his missing F350, and asked Houston to pour out a 40 and keep an eye out for her (as the truck no doubt was cruising at breakneck speed to the border)...

 

It shouldn't have come as a massive surprise that Quessenberry's truck was targeted by thieves. Again, according to Ganguli, the F350 is a favorite for Houston-area vehicle pilferers:

(Another quick sidebar: If the Pulitzer people create a category for reporting on athletes' stolen vehicles, Tania Ganguli will win it going away for her work on the Great Quessenberry Truck Heist of 2013. Big ups, Tania!)

It's not often these stories have a happy ending; the graveyard is full of families who never retrieve their abducted F350s. Hopefully someday their stories will be told. That said, as tears of joy flow down my cheeks (and presumably David Quessenberry's), I'm thrilled to tell all of you that indeed his one-ton bundle of joy has been located!

What Quessenberry lacks in spelling ability ("boarder"?) he makes up for in a likable charm, like a parent soon to be reunited with his abducted four-wheeled child. And oh the stories that child would have to tell, if it could speak in anything other than a dull engine roar.

Police chases, border wars, smugglers and probably some rogue bricks of cocaine...

One final clarification from Tania Ganguli:

"It actually wasn't the Kingsville Police. Gave them a ring a few minute ago and they said their agency hadn't recovered the truck. The Kleberg County Sheriff's Office was another potential recovery agency, but they won't be able to tell us more until [Thursday] morning."

So the saga is over, and Quessenberry's ride will soon be back where it belongs, parked outside the luxurious Springhill Suites with a few character-building scars, no doubt. Hopefully the smugglers and the smuggled were semi-bathed so that Quessenberry isn't dealing with a lingering BO situation in the cab of his ride, because we all know that when the B leaves and the O sticks around, bad things happen for everybody, and that, my friends, would be the real tragedy in all of this...

Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 Yahoo! Sports Radio from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays and nationally on the Yahoo! Sports Radio network Saturdays from 10 a.m. to noon CST. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.


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