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Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)

Tailgating done right, but not "Best of"-worthy.
Tailgating done right, but not "Best of"-worthy.
Photo by Chasen Marshall

"Yo man, why you wearing that Tony 'Homo' jersey?"


Texans fans were confident and cocky around the mish-mash of cars, RVs, tents and debauchery that was Tailgate City yesterday morning, outside Reliant Stadium.

Riding high on its spotless 2-0 record, TexansNation seemed to believe a trouncing of the rival Dallas Cowboys was a sure thing. And that thinking was justified. The Cowboys were winless and were yet to show themselves as viable contenders in the NFC. Meanwhile, the Texans were popular picks among the media as the surprise stars of the new season.


And so Texans fans were merry. It looked like a red and navy blue version of Mardi Gras had come to south Houston. Parties were bustling, and the food and booze was plentiful. Hair Balls decided to show up for the pre-game festivities and see what Texans tailgating was all about.

In honor of the "Best of Houston" issue coming out this week, we decided to come up with our "Best of the Texans-Cowboys Tailgating Scene (With The Occasional Farfetched Category Just Because We Liked The Image)," combined with some high school yearbook categories that seemed appropriate. Twelve awards in all. Enjoy.

12. Most Dedicated

Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)
Photos by Chasen Marshall

​Facepaint and jerseys are nice, common behavior -- but tattoos are forever. Let's hope Owner Bob McNair doesn't go all Oilers-ian on us and send the Texans to Oklahoma City or Santa Fe. Tattoo laser removal is pricey.

Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)


10. Most Desirable
Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)

Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)

Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)
Photos by Chasen Marshall

​Athletic becomes a relative term when used around the tailgating crowds. Beer pong, playing catch, and chugging are about the extent of athletics in this world. Well, those and Washers. It's a came that takes focus and accuracy, and in the case of this gentleman, courage as well. That's an mostly-Texans crowd he's contending with.

Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)

Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)

Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)


 

4. Best View From A Porta-Potty Line
Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)
Photos by Chasen Marshall

Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)

Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)

Texans' Tailgating: Where Meat, Booze, Tattoos, Porta-Potty's and Big Ol' Grills Get Together (SLIDESHOW)

​With all the booze and food flowing throughout the crowds, a proper place to relieve oneself was necessary. Unfortunately, the lines for the provided green Porta-Pottys were slow moving. This group recognized opportunity: $5 per use and they were only available to Texans fans. Capitalism at its finest.


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