Texas native Jack Worthington is sure of at least one thing: He’s John F. Kennedy’s love-child.
Worthington, who lives in Canada, says he’s not seeking money from the Kennedy family, but chose to go public after Vanity Fair had reportedly considered running a story on Worthington. (After the magazine reportedly spoke with Sen. Ted Kennedy, the piece was killed, Mary Jo Kopechne-style.)
While Worthington awaits DNA testing to prove his claim, some folks are investigating other alleged aspects of his family’s that possibly mirror Kennedy characteristics, including:
- a penchant for football-on-skis
- a profound love of convertibles
- prefrontal lobotomies for family members with “mood swings”
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SHOW ME HOW
- piloting planes upside-down
- banging underage baby-sitters
- being acquitted of rape
The Press will continue to stay on this extremely important story. Or not. – Craig Malisow