Thanksgiving Weekend Sports Television Guide To Gluttonous Sloth

Let's gorge on turkey, stuffing, and television!
Let's gorge on turkey, stuffing, and television!
Photo illustration/Thinkstock.com

Pride, covetousness, lust, anger, gluttony, envy and sloth — we all know the seven deadly sins, right?

Well, I am a generally peaceful person, so if I'm stack ranking these seven deadly sins, my two favorites are, without a doubt, gluttony and sloth. Think about the other five for a second — when any of those are unleashed, someone is usually emotionally harming another human being in the process.

But Gluttony? Sloth? Those are self-inflicted wounds, and of all the days out of the entire year, self-infliction never hurt so good as it does on Thanksgiving Day!

Today is the reason that the recliner, the elastic waistband and high definition television were invented! It is the best lazy TV watching day of the year, bar none, and as always, I am here to help enhance an already-great experience with my input. So while that tryptophan and red wine coarses through your veins, let's get you set up for some quality TV watching today and tomorrow. (I am confident that if you read my posts each week, you're already a person who has Saturdays and Sundays covered.)

Upcoming Events

First, before we lay out the sports content, for you children of the '80s (like me!), just know that you can double screen things with an '80s movie on one screen and sports on mute rolling on the other ALL DAY TODAY:

8 a.m. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (first of three straight airings on Comedy Central)

...then this delectable marathon on VH-1:

11:30 a.m. Some Kind of Wonderful
2 p.m. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
4:30 p.m. Footloose
7 p.m. Top Gun
9:30 p.m. Purple Rain

Lea Thompson, Mia Sara, skinny-Footloose-chick, Kelly McGillis (before "whatever happened to Kelly McGillis"), and Apollonia — that is an absolute murderer's row of '80s guilty pleasure!

Ok, now onto the sports viewing for today and tomorrow...

THANKSGIVING DAY, November 24

11:30 a.m.
Minnesota Vikings (6-4) at Detroit Lions (6-4)
TV:
CBS
Line: DET -2.5
Storyline: The Vikings are 1-4 after their "OMG" 5-0 start, while Matthew Stafford all of a sudden found out he has a clutch gene eight years into his career. In this odd Aaron-Rodgers-kinda-sucks world we are living in, this is a battle for NFC North supremacy!

3:30 p.m.
Washington Redskins (6-3-1) at Dallas Cowboys (9-1)
TV:
FOX
Line: DAL -7
Storyline: An old school rivalry with new school quarterbacks. The Redskins are hanging around the playoff fringe with QB Kirk Cousins (who may or may not be insane) and the Cowboys are the best team in the NFL with rookie QB Dak Prescott (who is, at the very least, a bit of a neat freak). Over/under on number of shots of Despondent Tony Romo Face... 12.5.

6:30 p.m.
LSU at Texas A&M (ESPN)
Line:
 LSU -6.5
Storyline: A month or so ago, the Aggies were all cackling about how they were number four in the College Football Playoff rankings. Fast forward to this weekend, and now they are unranked. So sad. LSU is searching for a new head coach. It appeared interim head coach Ed Orgeron was in good position to land the job, until the Tigers went out and scored ten points against Florida last week, and you realize that Orgeron is basically the offspring you'd get if ousted LSU coach Les Miles ever had copulated with Cookie Monster.

7:30 p.m.
Pittsburgh Steelers (5-5) at Indianapolis Colts (5-5)
TV:
NBC
Line: PIT -9
Storyline: Colts QB Andrew Luck is in the concussion protocol, so he will miss this game, which is good news for the Steelers, and frankly, the AFC South. You hate to see anyone get concussed, but if I may make a suggestion to the Colts — don't take any chances... keep Luck on the sidelines until after December 11. (UNRELATED NOTE: The Colts play the Texans on December 11.)

FRIDAY, November 25

11:00 a.m.
No. 20 Houston at Memphis (ABC)
Line:
 N/L
Storyline: There is no betting line on this game, presumably because Vegas isn't sure how to quantify the effect on Tom Herman possibly accepting his next head coaching job between now and Friday morning. That's all I can guess. This is a revenge game for the Tigers, who lost on a last-second missed field goal last season. (By the way, we played this "what if" game on my show on Tuesday — what if Memphis makes that last-second field goal last season against the Coogs? If they do, Herman is likely a 10-2 coach playing some crap MAC team in a mid-December bowl game, not "big game" Tom who knocked off Florida State. Sure, Herman still has some impressive pelts in 2016, but we don't know if this team comes into the opener versus Oklahoma with the same mental swagger they did knowing they can play with top teams from that Peach Bowl experience versus the Seminoles. Is Herman perceived as the "no brainer" next big thing if Memphis makes that field goal? Fun to think about.)

2:30 p.m.
No. 5 Washington at No. 23 Washington State (FOX)
Line:
 WASH -6
Storyline: Apple Cup time! This is for all the marbles in the Pac-12 North. While I will likely be wagering on Washington (six points feels like a small number here), there is some intrigue to seeing Mike Leach in a New Year's Six bowl game. Either way, college football is always more fun when Leach is relevant.

2:30 p.m.
TCU at Texas (FS1)
Line: UT -3
Storyline: I'm still trying to figure out if Charlie Strong runs out of the tunnel with his team or if they march him to the fifty yard line and let all of the Longhorn fans throw garbage at him like William Wallace in the final scene of Braveheart.

9:30 p.m.
Houston Rockets at Sacramento Kings (ROOT)
Line:
 N/A
Storyline: Cap off your two days of gluttony and sloth with a triple double of Harden!

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Listen to Sean Pendergast on SportsRadio 610 from 2 to 6 p.m. weekdays. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanTPendergast and like him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/SeanTPendergast.


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