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The Daily Show on Cafeteria Food, and Why the Criticisms Will Never, Ever Apply to HISD (According to HISD)

Can't be beat!!
Can't be beat!!

The Daily Show has tackled the tackling of an apparently growing problem -- kids don't like cafeteria food.

As TDS points out, in terms of complaints this isn't exactly new -- kids have been turning up their noses at cafeteria food for as long as there have been noses to turn up and cafeteria food to turn them up to.

The Houston school district serves up more food than any other district in Texas, and is not immune to criticism. Our food blog has checked the various offerings from time to time, with expected results.

But for all the carping seen in the Daily Show video linked here, there is one place where HISD finds itself free from such criticism -- namely, whenever it writes about itself.

Check out HISD's recent takes on itself and see if you wouldn't want to change those dinner reservations from Dolce Vita to Yates High School.

First, here's the Daily Show take:

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Starved by the Bell
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

And here's why this would never, ever apply to HISD.

The Daily Show on Cafeteria Food, and Why the Criticisms Will Never, Ever Apply to HISD (According to HISD)

6. No news is good news HISD Food Services has a Twitter account that's part of their effort "to keep you informed of important Food Services information."

Since it was last updated on Valentine's Day ("Elem students loved Valentine's Day Lucky Tray, 2 random students that ate a school lunch won a valentine's pillow pet!") and March 29 to announce Math Science & Tech Night, we can only assume everything's hunky-dory in HISD food land.

5. Twilight Zone time! From the Food Services' Web site: "HISD Food Services is serving up a healthier you!"

From the classic 1962 Twilight Zone episode "To Serve Man": "Mr. Chambers! Don't get on that ship! The rest of the book, To Serve Man, it's... it's a cookbook!"

They wouldn't....would they?!?!

Nah, we're pretty sure they wouldn't. Pretty sure.

 

Guarantee what now?
Guarantee what now?

4. A promise you can keep. Easily. "HISD has set its own limits to reduce students' daily salt intake, while still maintaining the flavor of its offerings."

Hmmm -- if you break down that promise, you're basically being guaranteed HISD's food will taste as good as it always has. So take that for what it's worth.

It will never pass into nothingness...
It will never pass into nothingness...

3. Serving warmed-over Sloppy Joes is a joy forever Inspiration flows from the offices of HISD Food Services, according to the new director in the march 2012 newsletter.

Seeing the nearly 2000 employees and 10 sub‐departments within Food Services become laser focused on a vision of serving the best, high quality, safe, good tasting, well prepared, highly nutritious, well presented, innovative, cost effective meals to our HISD students will be a thing of beauty.
Lunch time!!
Lunch time!!

2. Wait, isn't this the problem? Part of HISD's plan: "Decreasing the number of desserts offered to allow for an increase in higher nutrient foods" and "lots of whole grains, low-fat proteins, and new this year, more variety and larger portions of fruits and veggies."

Yes, that will stop the kids from complaining.

Not an HISD burger.
Not an HISD burger.
Photo by Troy Fields

1. And the most ominous threat of all....

HISD has also worked closely with ARAMARK for years to develop reduced-fat, -sugar, and -calorie versions of students' favorite foods, such as breakfast sandwiches, pizzas, hamburgers, and tacos.

Ah, what the hell. Just roll the Daily Show clip again. It will never be untrue.

Follow Houston Press on Facebook and on Twitter @HairBallsNews or @HoustonPress.

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Houston Independent School District Headquarters

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