The Franco-Texas Connection
If you didn’t think the French were douchey enough, they held a charity auction Tuesday of memorabilia from the TV show Dallas .
The money goes to a charity that hires clowns to entertain sick kids! So that’s a bunch of real douches bidding on stuff worn by fake TV douches set in a real douche town, in order to pay for a bunch of fright-wigged douches to yuk it up for terminal tots. That is so much douchery that the Earth was briefly knocked off its axis yesterday – especially when some le douche threw in the winning bid of 1,200 euros ($1,650) on J.R.’s Stetson. You know, that’s not even that much money. That’s probably the same amount that Larry Hagman collects in Social Security each month.
And here’s the ultimate quote, from the head of the auction house: “Dallas for us is the ultimate symbol of country music.” OK, that doesn’t even make any goddamn sense. – Craig Malisow
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.